flawed souls

twenty-two

four weeks later

her

the security let me in,
once i say my name
and i wonder if he told
any one else about us.

he is sitting on a chair,
i am among thousands
of beautiful girls, filling my
mind with eunoia instead
of fear and anxiety

"i'm west tylers. hello."
and he begins the melody
of the beautiful song we wrote,
his eyes don't find mine at all

hours pass and i walk
slowly but certainly
backstage, where i'd hoped
to meet him once more.

"west!" i cry out,
but he does not see me.

and i see a lovely
girl with long purple hair
and beautiful caramel skin
wrap her arms around him
and kiss him in a
lissome way

i suffer of oneirataxia,
wondering if the opulent manner
he holds her waist is a figment
of my imagination.

tangible melancholy
fills the fibers of my body,
and my heart is stabbed
a million times

the knife is stuck,
cutting off my circulation
i pray to god that
someone rips it out,
before i bleed to death.

-

him

"is that lotus?"
i say to myself,
breaking away from
the breathtaking girl in my arms

"be right back," i mumble,
running towards her
she is at the water fountain,
clutching the sides,
rocking herself back and forth

"lotus?" i say.
her cries begin to swell,
full of sorrow and despair
"lotus, look at me."
"i hate you so much," she says.
her azure eyes are hazy from the tears.

"i—" 
she brings her hands
to her face and covers it
from the nemesis that was
her world. her finger nails
are more bitten than ever.

i feel sorry for her,
and put a hand on her shoulder
she lets it be, and stares at me:
"i—i thought you loved me."

"i do, but she—"
"is beautiful. she's beautiful.
and she's flawless. and you
think you're perfect together
because you THINK you're perfect.
but you're not, west. you're just
as flawed as i am, maybe even more."
i can't say anything.

her eyes linger on my lips,
and she says: "you are
 beautiful on the outside,
but your soul isn't. i like to
believe i am the contrary."
she steps on my feet and
gives me a kiss too softly.

"you are both," i say.

and the flawed girl
runs away from a soul
who tainted her beauty
with his own gruesome,
flawed soul.

and that is the story of how a girl named lotus marie got her beautiful heart broken by a beautifully horrible boy named west tylers.