Sweet Disposition [Larry Stylinson Fiction - Side Ziall]

Chapter 1

I don't know why I'm doing this. Why? Why the hell am I still torturing the poor guy? I could stop right now, i could; But i won't. You see, once you start you can't stop, and even if I'd want to; I can't. Seeing him and being near him keeps me alive, he's my oxygen, without him I can't breath. Watching him gives me hope. I can't stop. Even though he's crying and begging me to. Oh, how I hate to see him cry. I'm a sick person, I know that doing what I do basically hurts him more than it hurts me. But it hurts alright, it hurts like hell. But so does my craving for him. I can't stop. I won't stop. -Never.

I kept hitting him, kept seeing him every Friday. Oh, how I loved Fridays. Yet I feared them more than anything else. It was Friday today and frankly, I was looking forward to it.

I don't know when it started, when it all began, but I do remember his words.

-Those I'll never forget.

~Flashback~

I spotted him walking alone on his way home, school was over and it was, well; Friday.

I'd never seen him before this close, I was sure I'd seen him once or twice, but never like this; Never up close. I was right behind him, doing my best to walk causally, not wanting him to notice me.

He was beautiful. So fucking gorgeous. Like an angel lighting up the dark grey ally. His milky white skin was a nice contrast to his dark curly hair and his big, green, dazzling eyes. I've come to love those eyes. Once you stare into them you can't keep your gaze away.

He was wearing a slight frown on his face. He was sad, no doubt.

"What are you staring at exactly?"

The boy, who was now speaking and standing just a meter or two in front of me said. His eyes were big and pleading. He was scared.

"Am I not allowed to stare at your ugly face, fag?"

His eyes got even wider if possible, then his shoulders relaxed slightly. He sucked the words in, very one of them.

Why, why, why? Why the hell did I even say that? I just fucking met the boy.

I'll tell you why; As lame as it may sound, I'm one of the 'bad boys'. And being my stupid ''Talk before you think-self''I just did what I possibly could, stopping my urge from just kissing him right then and there.

And what he said next; His words made me missarble. I never wanted him to feel bad. It just happened. It just simply happened.

"I-m sor-ry"

He stutterd out, before continuing, a single tear dripping down his chin. I wanted to wipe it away, hug him and assure him it all would be okay. To hell with that idea.

''I started here this week, I... I don't want to get bullied again... Please! That's why I had to move here..."

He whispered, only loud enough so I was able to make out his words, I was slightly fascinated how someone like HIM could get bullied, he was as beautiful as an angel.

"I'm sorry dude. But I don't like fags!"

And with that said, I punched him in the stomach, I knew it hurt him badly, but he just stood there. Silent. Then he walked away, slowly, tears falling, clutching his stomach; But still, he walked away without a single word.

-Fucking angel.

~End of Flashback~

And since then I have been looking forward to Fridays. But when the night comes I can't sleep. His facial expressions always haunt me. He's very silent, very special.

-Very, very godlike.