perfect? - montgomery de la cruz

To Our Friend And Brother.

The white powder that Ashley had just inhaled calmed her down. Ever since she got attacked in the forest by Monty she had started using cocaine as a way to cope.

She knew that she was being extremely hypocritical since her boyfriend was a literal addict but she couldn't help it. She was just so scared that Monty would come back.

She thought she was going to be okay, but she wasn't. She was far from okay.

The knock on her window caused her to jump. She quickly hid away the cocaine under her pillow before she rose from her bed and looked outside.

Her anxiety rose when she saw that it was Justin standing on her window, holding onto the frame of the window so he wouldn't fall.

"Hey babe.", he said with smile as he climbed into her room. "What's wrong?", he immediately asked when he saw her eyes and her nervous fidgeting.

"I've been crying.", she quickly answered even though she knew that he saw through her lie. "Why are you lying to me?", he whispered as he gently grabbed her chin to look at her eyes.

The realization hit Justin when he saw the redness of her eyes and the way she was trying to avoid his gaze. It reminded him so much of himself.

"Are you high?!", he exclaimed loudly. She sat down on her bed with fear in her eyes.

She looked so small and vulnerable, just sitting there. She knew damn well that he had all the reasons in the world to be angry with her.

"Please don't scream at me...", she mumbled as she nervously tried to avoid his eyes.

Ashley thought he was going to hit her. For a second, she believed that this relationship was just like the one she had with Monty. Even though she knew that he would never ever do such a thing, it was like a reflex to flinch when he got close.

"Fuck Justin, you're high right now?!", she almost screamed since she was so upset and angry.

"Please don't scream at me.", he said and suddenly looked really small and sad.

He crouched down in front of her, with a frown on his face as he grabbed her hands so they would stop shaking.

"I know that you are going through a lot right now, but drugs are not the answer. I also know that I'm not the right person to tell you that.", he started as he subconsciously stroked her hands as he spoke.

"If you 'OD, I- I don't know what I'll do. I can't live if you die.", he whispered as the tears started swell up in both of their eyes.

"If you OD', I wouldn't be able to live with myself.", she admitted, the tears falling down her cheeks freely. "I can't imagine a future without you, Justin.", she started. "I started looking both ways when I crossed the street after I met you. I didn't want to die anymore after you came into my life.", she wept as she held his hand tightly.

"I'm seeing things, Justin.", she whispered, his frown growing bigger by the second. "I see Monty, I saw him in the woods and I've seen him when we've been together as well.".

At this point, Ashley was sobbing. Justin hugged her tightly as he whispered that he loved her over and over again.

In his mind, Ashley was the strongest woman in the world. She had been through so incredibly much. She had dealt with Monty, Bryce, her father's death, her brother going to jail, her mother's absence, Jeff's death, Hannah's death and tapes, all on her own.