Lost in a illusion.

- Im back.

Dear diary ,

I feel lonely again so I'm writing again I know what your gonna say "since you were happy you forgot about me your diary, but now that your sad you suddenly remember about it. " Well yeah that's kinda what happened but I mean maybe just maybe by writing again I'll remember how to be happy again.

Well not much has happened my mom is still dead .. so I mean can't get over that. My dad is starting to forgive him self for shooting her while they where hunting. And he is starting to talk to women again ,so I guess that's a good thing?. My brother still won't talk to him nor won't he come back home he says he likes living away with his girlfriend in their own house.

I think that if my dad is forgiving him self my brother Mark should forgive my dad too. I mean it just makes sense right ?. I forgave my Dad when he told me "it should have been me who should've got shot!." That to me meant he loved her so much if could chose he would have preferred him self dying then my mom && that to me meant a lot.

Everyone was a bit nice at school at first. The school even gave me and my brother money to "comfert" our selfs my brother (Johnathan) he just used it to pay rent. I just saved it i mean we really have no ise of it.

Our dad is blessed with a company that helps big upcoming stars get gigs and stuff like that. So that brings in a lot of money i know its crazy how people will do anything for yhe fame.