Vol. 1: Twenty

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+ LOVING ELIJAH MCCAY +
VOL. 1: CHAPTER TWENTY

     My fingers itch to pick up my cellphone

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     My fingers itch to pick up my cellphone. This Friday afternoon had flown by, particularly fast. I stood the farthest away from Elijah as I possibly could, during our 6:00 A.M. practice. I wasn't, and still aren't entirely sure if I was still invited to the state fair with he and his friends.

     Not that there was any reason that I shouldn't be.

     It's just you and your insecurities, I would whisper to myself in misplaced comfort.

     My hand felt sweaty and uncomfortable in the unfamiliar glove that was placed between my fingers. It was borrowed from Rick, considering I'd forgotten mine at home during my fit of overthinking. And Rick just happened to have an extra one lying around in his gym bag.

     I'd dropped almost every single one of Rick's passes. And after noticing my jittering, he rolled his eyes, a piece of bright blonde hair falling into them. "This is what you get for forgetting your glove." He said playfully.

     I groaned, trying my best to catch his next toss, but once again, almost letting slip through my fingertips. "It's not my fault, I swear! I was just under a lot of pressure."

     "Yeah, Elijah pressure."

     I toss back the ball with force behind my hand, it hitting Rick smack in the middle of his stomach. He bends over in apparent pain, a groan slipping past his lips. "Stop it. And besides--I wouldn't be worrying so much if you just sucked it up and went with me."

     At first, Rick was more than excited to come along with me to the state fair, so that I wouldn't be completely alone when Elijah and his friends judge me without mercy. Then, just this morning he'd said that plans changed, and he didn't feel like going anymore.

     I knew this had some sort of correlation with him going MIA all week, but I didn't ask any further questions.

     "Oh, stop complaining--you'll be fine."

When I'm sitting idly by in my first period, I feel eyes on me. Heavy, heavy eyes. I don't turn. I don't turn because I know that if I do, the person who may-or-may-not be staring at me, might feel awkward. And knowing myself, I wouldn't be able to handle making someone else feel awkward.

     Even while already feeling awkward myself.

     My fingers trace that note-taking I have scribbled on the lined paper before me, trying to calm the redness starting to paddle itself all throughout the natural tanning of my skin.

     Finally, I turn, my eyes slowly racking the room behind me, for anyone who could be looking my way.

     My heart begins to beat faster when I catch someone's eyes. Someone's seemingly very focused eyes. He watches me without will, and only when I raise a hand to wave accordingly, does he look away in shame.

     I frown lightly, making a mental note to avoid him at all costs for the rest of my high school career.

     The bell rings with a hurrying sort of ring, and I jump slightly in surprise. Collecting all of my things, I sling my backpack over my shoulder, while the boy who was watching me before, scurries past, bumping into my shoulder in process.

     "Hey!" I shout, eyebrows furrowing in confusion and light annoyance.

     He only spares me a, "sorry!" over his shoulder, continuing on with his stride.

     As I'm walking out of the classroom, I catch Elijah's eyes. He stares for a while, the end of a toothpick hanging from both lips. My stomach surges in wondrous butterflies, a smile taking over my lips within seconds.

     He sends a small smile back, and returns walking down the hallway toward me, his grip tightening on his apparent cellphone in his hand.

     His legs are long and fast, as my fingers become sweaty and pulsing. "H-Hey," I whisper once he's closer, pushing back my hair that threatens to fall from its designated place.

     He stands before me, plucking the toothpick from between both lips, "uh, hi—where's your other half?"

     I laugh at his attempt to joke, and just like a few days prior—my laugh is too loud and laugh-y. "He usually skips last period, these few days."

     Elijah nods in understanding, leaning in closer to speak, so that bystanders don't have the opportunity to eavesdrop. "I can't give you a ride right now, I have somewhere I need to be."

     I nod quickly, "oh, yeah, yeah—I'm completely fine. I was thinking about walking, anyway. And plus, some extra exercise doesn't hurt anybody." I laugh pitifully.

     Elijah agrees, with pure nonchalance, pushing both hands into his pockets, where they sit for the remainder of the conversation. Just the slight movement makes me swoon.

     "But I can still pick you up for tonight, if you need me to."

     My mind begins to travel at a million miles per second, as if rack my brain for whatever the hell he could mean by that. He catches onto my pure confusion and raises an eyebrow.

     "I mean, that is if you're still going," I can hear the slight jingle of his keys in his pocket, and that's when my brain registers the fact that Elijah is talking about the state fair.

     The state fair that would happen tonight, and where I'd be inevitably wall-planted with Elijah and his friends from college.

     I chuckle in embarrassment, my hand tightening around the strap of my backpack. "Oh, my gosh—yeah, yeah, I'm totally still coming."

     I wasn't surprised that tonight's events completely slipped my mind. With the random boy from last period staring at me the entire, and all. Then, that same boy running full fledged into me, and not even bothering to stay back and genuinely apologize.

     Elijah didn't say much else, calmly making his way toward the schools exit.

     The boy is watching me again, and I snap my eyes toward his, no longer afraid to be caught staring back at him. His eyes don't make me feel afraid, but curious.

     I wave once again, and he finally smiles my way. A short, friendly smile. There's a long, brown coat that covers his shoulders and I smile back, the wonder of why he's in a winter coat during summer being pushed into the back of my mind.

     And while I walk home, I think of the boy and his friendly smile.

     And I also think of Elijah, and the butterflies he left imprinted in the pit of stomach, and I just could not wait for tonight.

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