Free as a Jailbird

Chapter 26

I don't really want to, but I head to the station to find Nick. It's closer than his house and I don't really have the change to get all the way to the other side of the city. When I arrive at the station and enter through the civilian entrance, I get surprised looks from two of the local cops who walk out. I try to ignore them.

The receptionist Andrea gives me a double take and then looks behind her, as if to check that there is an officer around to protect her from memile and try to be friendly. The graze on my cheek that Leon gave me earlier probably doesn't help.

"Hi Andrea," I say. "How's it goin'?"

"Uh, fine, Jess. What do you need?"

I put my hands up on the bench and shrug. "Oh, I was just wondering if Nick Bronson is around."

She looks slightly taken aback and I see blush cloud her cheeks. Instantly I remember thoughts of Nick marrying and having kids. Andrea could take him from me. The bitch.

"He's actually in the middle of an interrogation, and–" she pales. Maybe she didn't mean to tell me that.

"That's okay, I'll just wait for him."

I turn around and walk over to the seats lined up against the wall. Again she looks at me in shock and then goes back to her work, her eyes constantly peering up over the bench at me. I pick up a magazine and start flicking through mindlessly, watching men and women come in and out of the cell block. Fortunately I don't recognize anyone.

Fifteen minutes later, Nick passes through the doors followed by three men in suits. They shake his hand and nod at Andrea as they exit. I get the distinct feeling as they bypass me with a quick, unsuspecting glance that they are not lawyers but Feds. I've always been very good at picking out the Feds. They never scared me before but they do now since I'm planning an assassination and it feels as if I have that fact written across my forehead.

"Jess?"

I turn to Nick as he stands in the doorway. This is the second time I've seen him in a police uniform, the first being the day we met. Goddamn it, he looks so sexy. I blink away my distractive thoughts and stand up.

"Hey, is there any chance we can talk for a bit?"

He shoots a look at Andrea but she's not paying attention. Or at least, she hides it well.

He nods toward the cell block. "I'm just going to clock out, you can wait in the interrogation room if you want."

"Sure." I find a quieter, unlocked room, sit down in the perp chair and wait for him to return. When he does, he isn't wearing his artillery belt anymore. He sits in the cop chair. It feels very ... forced.

"So ..." I stare into his face, shadowed by the bright lamp above our heads. Why am I this nervous? "I just wanted to apologize for being so ... dramatic the other week, and–"

"Jess, what's been going on?"

I blink. "What do you mean?"

"I mean since before Kayla's birthday you've been overly skittish, you look like you were just hit by a bus and you completely blew me off for two weeks. I know we don't know each other that well but from the two dates we've had, I can safely say you're never this distracted. I'm not going to force you to reveal the truth–"

Huh, good luck with that.

"–But ... if you're here to apologize, I think I at least deserve some kind of explanation."

I stare at him and honestly wish I could. It would just be so easy to reveal everything the Mafia has told me, to send them all to prison – if they don't get wind of it first – and make this go away. But I don't know the consequences of that. The Mafia have connections well outside this city. I would never be safe. It's best to do as they say silently without any cops involved, and then when the time comes, I covertly reveal information to the Feds so they have enough to take them down. Or I go on a rampage and murder Morrison myself. Either way, I cannot involve Nick. For the sake of Kayla and Maria, he can't know the truth.

"Nick, have you ever done or thought about doing something that you know is wrong, but you don't have any choice?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like ... a sacrifice. For the people you love. For your family."

Nick's face screws up in pain and I know he understands. He wipes a hand over his mouth and after his eyes dart to the door, he nods.

"Yeah. I have."

"Then you know I can't answer that question."

"I don't want a relationship that separates us both," he says. My heart flutters at the term 'relationship'. I didn't realize we were already there.

"That's why I walked away the other day. Nick," I reach forward and wrap my fingers in his. "I care about you so much. But I can't just ditch the baggage in my life because I'm dating a cop. You follow the law and I break it. That's the way it is."

He lets go of my hands and crosses his arms. I feel tears form in my eyes again and I wonder why I came here. Did I think this would go any differently to the other day? Nothing at all has changed. I still want to protect him as well as my own skin. I can't do anything more.

"My Dad's name was Robert Bronson," he says. "But everyone knew him as Diablo. He was the most dangerous criminal of his time."

My mouth falls open not only in shock of Nick's sudden honesty, but also at the mention of his father's name. I knew of Diablo. Everyone knew of him. Diablo was a killer, a dealer, an inside man and the most lethal criminal his generation, or any generation, had ever seen. The very mention of his name inspires many of the lowly criminals I come across, yet I feel like being sick whenever I hear the stories. He was the Devil.

"Dad was never around when I was a kid," Nick continues. "I had no idea what he got up to. Mom argued with him all the time. Sometimes I'd wake up in the morning to find her unconscious on the kitchen floor or covered in bruises. He beat her. As I got older, I stood up to him. He beat me too, told me I was worthless, that I'd never live up to his name, that I was weak. I tried fighting him, tried protecting Mom. But he was much stronger than me. One night, when Kayla was a year old, Dad came home covered in blood. He'd been drinking. He was raving about things I didn't understand; money, power, blood, death. Mom was distraught, asking him why he was covered in blood, telling him she couldn't put up with it anymore. He lost his temper and hit her again. I wanted to call the police but he stopped me. He knocked me down, told me to fight him, to be a man. He pointed a gun in my face and that's when ..." Nick pauses and I wait for him to continue, hooked. I don't even realize tears are spilling from my eyes until Nick looks at me and smiles. "My younger sister Bonnie got woken up by the shouting. She ran to Mom and tried to wake her up but her face was covered in blood and she was knocked out cold. Dad laughed and pointed the gun at Bonnie. I sat in the corner, watching it all happen like a coward. But when Bonnie screamed, I knew I had to be brave for her, so I launched myself at Dad to grab the gun from him. But I was too late. He'd pulled the trigger. Bonnie ... fell. Dad came out of his stupor. He dropped the gun and looked at me as though I'd done it. "Don't you dare tell anyone, you hear me?" he ordered. He threatened to have the rest of us killed, but I knew he was only scared." Nick breathes a laugh and looks away from my gaze. For at least twenty seconds he sits with his head resting on his hand, trying to blink away tears. "As ... as worried as I was for my mother and Kayla's safety, I couldn't let him walk after what he did. So I turned him in."