*𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏# | completed

𝐂𝐗𝐋

JACINTH

"Ughhh!"

"T-topher... uhhh."

"Jacinth... hngg..."

FUCK!

Putangina.

What have you done, Jacinth?

I slapped myself to let me know if this was all real and that's when I realized that I created a huge mistake.

Shit.

I have given in my virginity to Topher.

Fuck.

Hanggang ngayon ramdam ko pa rin ang sakit sa may puson ko but I can't hold it with my hands because I'm freaking tied on bed with no clothes on!

What have I submitted myself into? Bakit ko ba pinasok ang lahat ng ito?

I don't have any choice right now but to cry... to cry the pain that I can feel right now, physically, emotionally and mentally.

I'm tired. I'm hella tired. Pero ako naman ang pumayag na magkaganito ang buhay ko diba? I am the one who agreed in this fucking scheme that, that psycho Topher wants.

It's all for my friends. It's all for Axle, Freya and the souls of our other friends. But why does it feel like I made a very bad decision? Because I know that if I can talk to them right now and ask them if they're happy with what I am doing for them, I know that they'll say no.

Naiyak pa rin ako ngayon dahil wala naman akong magagawa kung hindi umiyak nang umiyak. I'm helpless. You're helpless, Jacinth.

"You're helpless, Jacinth."

"I know that you'll like it."

"Am I better than Axle?"

Fuck. No.

I tried to recall what happened last night but it only made me cry more. He d-drugged me. Topher drugged me. I was not in my sane state last night but now that I am, I know that I made a really bad mistake.

I didn't know okay? I didn't know anything that have happened last night. Hindi ko alam kung bakit at paano ko nagawa iyon.

But the thing that keeps on lingering on my mind right now is Axle. A-axle.. I'm sorry. You were so precious. How could I betray you?

I'm hoping that you'll understand what had happened to me. But I, myself, knows that what I did was wrong. At hinding hindi ko na maibabalik pa ang oras. I should've controlled myself last night. If it weren't for the drug...

My sobs got weaker as the sun started to go up. The first rays of sunshine illuminated the room where I am right now. The yellow beam of light kissed my bare skin and I felt hot by it.

Tinagilid ko ang katawan ko para maitago ko ang nakabuyangbuyang kong pagkababae. The white piece of blanket barely even covered my fair skin.

I looked to the mirror in front of me and I looked like a zombie. With those thick dark eyebags right under my eyes. Pale face and lips. But what shocked me is that I am not crying anymore. Maybe I am tired by doing that all night. I cried but until now.