Megalomania

Chapter Three

Reina POV

*one month later*

Harry and I have actually been really good since that day. We haven't talked about it. But he knows how I feel. He knows that I'm frightened of the same thing and he says all the time he can't blame me. But that he wants me and couldn't be without me. I guess I just don't understand his reasoning for doing it. How can you love someone so much you go crazy and kill them? How does that happen? So I eventually decide, I'm going to ask him.

We were sitting on the couch at his place. Just watching The Purge. And he had paused it to get us drinks. So I followed him out to the kitchen.
"Baby, can I ask you something?" I said sweetly and softly.
"You can ask me anything, Princess."
"I don't want you to get upset. And I don't want you to think I'm accusing you or belittling you or anything like that. But, I just want to understand why you did it... Ana I mean." As I spoke these words I saw Harry grow a little nervous but relax when he realized it's just me and I'm only wanting to understand.
"Baby, I wasn't always a good guy. I was in the middle of things that could get people hurt. The people that I was in the middle of these things with... The head guy, said if I didn't kill Ana he was going to sell her to a sex trade. I couldn't bear thinking about it. There was nowhere I could hide her. He monitored all of my money so I couldn't send her away. I wanted her to be better off than what she would have done. But, Reina, don't think that it still doesn't haunt me. Please don't think that I don't regret it. I wish I found another way. But at the time that's all I could think of and I will not make that mistake again" he said as he looked at me with serious, dark eyes. But he's made his point. I won't interrogate him anymore. I moved toward him to touch his t-shirt covered chest. And I reached my lips up to kiss his neck.
"They aren't apart of your life anymore right? Like, the people you used to be in business with?"
"No, baby girl, I'm not."
"Okay. Then I will never bring this up again. We can forget that it ever happened." I said, hopeful.
"Baby, despite what I have hoped, I'll never forget what I did." His voice became shaky and his breath got heavy. I found myself wanting nothing more than to comfort him. "I went crazy to kill my first real love. I see myself falling in love with you and in a future with you, Reina. But I killed someone I loved because I was afraid." Harry was full on crying now. "I'll never be able to apologize enough to her family to make everything better. I just want to make everything better. And I'll never be able to do that" he put his head down and his curls fell over his eyes and he put his hands on the counter behind him. His t-shirt pulled across his chest was now tear-stained. I forced myself not to cry with him as I wrapped my arms around his waist and shoved my head into the crook of his neck. And whispered to him.

"Baby, no you can't change the past. And if I could change it for you, my love, I would. But you can't continue to hate yourself because you made a mistake. Yes, it was a big one but you have to live your life." He put his arms around me and we stood in his kitchen for what felt like hours but I didn't mind at all. "Harry... I love you." I looked up at him. He looked bewildered. Like he had just had the shock of his life.
"Reina, you can't love me." He pushed me away. And had an emotional break down. He went back to the living room and paced back and forth. He looked like a nervous wreck and I didn't understand...
"Harry... A-are you okay?" I manage... What the hell just happened?

Harry POV

NO NO NO! She can't love me! She can't! That's wrong! That's so wrong! No! Reina No!
"Reina, you can't love me!" I yell. She can love me! "Are you a fucking idiot? I told you I murdered the last woman I loved and you say that you love me? Please tell me. Why? What in the fuck made you fall in love with me? Why did you do that?" Im rambling, but I look at her and she is so frightened. No! That's not what I want! Wait... Yes it is! She should be frightened of me! "What?" I snapped at her.
"Baby, I..." I cut her off
"Stop! Don't call me that! We shouldn't be together. You shouldn't be here. I don't love you!" Im screaming and I didn't want to say it but I didn't want to hurt her. She needs to leave and forget about me and move on! "Leave!"
"Harry, what?" FUCK she's crying!
"You need to leave. Now!" I scream one more time. And she hardly speaks but manages an okay and grabs her things and leaves. She's gone. I can't hurt her. But I can hurt myself.
What the hell have I done?