[Twice Featured Noteworthy Novel & Staff Pick on Tapas.io] ✔
[Previously featured on Tapas.io's LGBTQ+ Community collection] ✔
One night. That was all it took for Senn Reyes' life to change drastically--and permanently.
Senn Reyes is a seventeen-y...
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Sunday
It had taken about an hour to calm down, before Senn had forced himself to face Dean and Tessa and actually apologize for his behavior, wanting them to know he wasn't being ungrateful. He was scared and confronting him with it caused him to panic.
Whereas he expected Dean—in the least—to be angry or upset, they were both understanding and they had told him they'd park the car in the garage, so that once he was actually ready to try, they would help him overcome his fear, step by step.
Senn actually hugged Tessa, and for a few seconds he felt calm, safe and loved. But then he remembered he agreed with Elio to meet at the river and talk, so he rushed out and headed over there.
Elio was already seated at the big rock that was hanging over the water, one leg dangling over the edge. He was wearing a faded red hoodie with the hood over his blond hair, that was peeking out from under the hood. His slim fit jeans were full of holes and had a faded light blue color. He was smoking a cigarette, blowing out circles like he had done the night they went out, and they decided to smoke pot together with two strangers.
The night they kissed and Senn had ran off.
"Hi," Senn mumbled a greeting, sitting down next to him.
"Evening, Senn," Elio cheerfully replied, not turning to look at him. "Why did you want to meet so badly, on a Sunday evening, 11pm, at the river? Why couldn't it wait until in the morning?"
"What are these?" Senn shoved the diary in his face, tapping on a sticky note. "This is your handwriting."
"Reasons," Elio replied simply, shrugging a shoulder.
"Figured, but why?"
"You said you didn't see reasons for yourself to continue. All you do is continue because others want you to. So, I decided to give you reasons. I know they're stupid, but if you see all of them together, you see that you have a million insignificant reasons to continue, and if you ask me, that's better than one grand reason."
"They seem futile and unimportant. I rather have a good—grand—reason to live for."
"If you have one big one, and you succeed? Then what?"
"I... I don't know, find a new reason?"
"If you have a million small ones, you will stumble on bigger ones eventually." Elio finally looked at him and smiled. "You just need to get going again. Realize you are important too and you have a purpose. All you have to do is rediscover what your purpose in life is."
"Thanks," Senn mumbled, "for helping."
Elio smiled again, and for a while they didn't speak. Whereas Elio was looking out over the river, Senn read some more sticky notes. "When did you do this?"
"Whenever you weren't paying attention. You fell asleep during Spanish, so I stuck some in there. When you went to the bathroom, when you went to get food during lunch on Thursday... Lucas was wondering what I was doing but I said it was an inside joke and now he might dislike me even more because he feels like I'm stealing you from him, but Avan assured him you two are still the best of friends because that's just how you two work."
