A Miracle From Hell

Chapter 5

Escaping is running away from the truth, but disbelief is running towards the truth.---Yong Kang Chan

Present day

The anniversary of Reid's death began with a beautiful sunrise. JJ was up, she couldn't sleep. Today she was going to take her boys and visit Spence's grave. 

She looked over at the baby monitor and smiled when she saw her youngest sleeping peacefully. She was so glad Hotch had decided to take today off. She really needed it. Every one really needed some space right now. 

She wandered downstairs and smiled when she saw her husband Will already up and making breakfast. "Hi sweetheart." 

"Hey honey." Will offered a cup of coffee. "Couldn't sleep last night?" 

"No. You know what today is and I just can't stop thinking about him." She took the cup. "God, it's so unfair, Will, so unfair." 

"I know, JJ." He stopped breaking eggs and gave her a pitying smile. "It's hard losing a partner."

"I know Will but Reid was like my brother and I don't know, I feel like he knew this was going to happen somehow." 

"JJ, sweetheart, how could he possibly know that he would die?"

"Will I don't know! Maybe it's just me projecting or I'm just tired of pretending he's not dead. Will every day I think he is going to walk through that door. Every. Day. I can't move on."

Will moved around the table and grabbed her hands. "JJ, healing comes with time. You will get through this. Today is going to be harder but you'll get through that too. Now let's get the boys up. You wanted to go visit him today right?"

She nodded wiping away a few stray tears. "Yeah, thanks Will. Now doesn't your shift start soon?"

Will nodded. "Just wanted to make sure you were ok first JJ. I can always take off today."

Her heart melted. "Oh Will, I'm fine. Go I'll be fine, I promise." 

She did start to feel a little better. The hard ball that was wound up in her chest slowly began to unwind as she got her boys dressed. She explained as best as she could that she was taking them to see Uncle Spence. She choked up slightly but forced her tears down. She could do this.

On the way to the cemetery, her phone pinged. It was Garcia. A little heart emoji appeared on the screen and then a smiley face. JJ smiled. She knew Garcia had sent one to everyone. 

The cemetery was cold. Snow covered the ground and JJ could feel her sons shiver as they made their way between the rows of headstones. Finally they arrived at Spencer's. JJ knelt down in the snow, ignoring for a moment the cold, she picked away the dead and dying flowers left by some member of the BAU. Picking up some bright red flowers, she placed them carefully in the vase by the headstone.  Then she brushed the snow off and dusted away the dirt. 

She caught herself wondering if he was cold and she shivered. 

Her boys huddled close to her and looked at the headstone. Somehow, even though their were so young, the meaning of death had not been lost on them. 

JJ stood in silence for a few minutes, letting her mind wander over the memories that she and Reid had shared. Her tears fell and she came back to reality. It was cold and it was time to go back home. Maybe they could watch a good movie in front of a fire or something. 

As she carefully made her way back to the car, careful to keep from slipping on the ice, she noticed her phone had just finished ringing. 

"Weird." She said. Hurriedly buckling her son in the car, she opened the door and sat down. There was at least five missed calls from Garcia and three from Hotch. And surprisingly one from Prentiss. Something had happened. Her heart started racing and she backed out of the cemetery fearing for the worst. 

As she drove, she pushed the call button and waited for Hotch to pick up. "C'mon." She was anxious now. 

"JJ." Hotch's voice was as calm as ever but JJ thought she detected panic. 

"Hotch, what is it? What's going on? I leave my phone for ten minutes and everyone decides to call me now?" Ok she didn't mean to throw that barb in there. 

"Are you home?"

"What? I mean no, I was at the-I was out. Why?" 

"Damn it." JJ was shocked. Something must have happened. "JJ I need you to go home and look for a manila envelope. Once you have found it, come straight here."

"A manila...Hotch what is this? I have the boys for today, you can't expect me to just leave them!" She was getting upset with Hotch. He was being closed off for no reason and now he wanted her to find a manila envelope and come straight to the office. Was the man insane?

"I know JJ, if you can't find anyone, just bring them here. This is urgent.  Listen, all of us got these manila envelopes. You need to come in as soon as possible." 

"Ok Hotch, I'll be there as soon as I can." JJ suddenly felt exhausted. Today of all days for something like this to happen. 

"Ok, see you soon JJ."

"Yeah Hotch." She drove on. A manila envelope? She grew alarmed. Who'd given her the manila envelope? 

As she drove into the driveway, she looked back at the boys. "Mom's just going to go inside and grab something, ok?" They both nodded in understanding. "Ok."

She grabbed her gun and opened the front door. She cleared her whole house before looking fore the manila envelope. She found it in her room, on her pillow. Shuddering from the creepiness of it all, she grabbed it and looked inside. There was one singular polaroid. She closed it, deciding to not touch it. 

She ran back out to the car and drove to the BAU. After getting her kids into dependable care, she hurried towards the BAU doors. She could feel her heart beating in her chest and she felt panicked. 

She pushed open the doors and headed towards the briefing room. Everyone was sitting around the table, staring in disbelief at the neat row of polaroids. JJ sat down next to Prentiss who turned to face her. 

"Where's your picture?" She asked in a horse voice. JJ looked round the table and slowly shook out the picture. It landed next to the others. 

JJ felt herself grow cold and faint. The picture stared back at her. 

"That's impossible." She managed. The others looked at her with disbelief. 

"I just visited his grave this morning."

The figure in the picture was none other than Dr. Spencer Reid.