A Miracle From Hell

Chapter 4

Grief can't be shared. Everyone carries it alone. His own burden in his own way.---Anne Lindbergh

Morgen awoke to sirens. "No, no." A medic swung in and looked at him. 

"Welcome back Agent Morgan."

"Reid, I, Reid, I need to know. What happened." 

The medic paused looking over at someone. 

Morgan pushed the medic away and struggling, sat up. "What happened." His tongue was thick. 

The medic gently pushed him back down. "Agent Morgan, please you have a concussion, we are on route to a hospital right now and--"

"A concussion?" 

"Yes the explosion knocked you out."

"The explosion?" Morgan's voice shot up in concern. "What explosion?" 

The medic bit his lip. "Relax Agent your team is fine."

Morgan shook his head. "No, no Reid, no...." He felt himself stumbling over his words as the medic quickly applied a light sedative. 

Back at the crime site, Hotch sat on the edge of an ambulance listening to the droning of the sirens. The flames that had engulfed the shed had been effectively put out and firefighters were going through the remains now. 

I sent him there, I told him to go to the shed. I thought it would be safe. That sick son of a bitch. 

He pulled the blanket the EMT's gave him around himself and shivered.  

He can't be dead, Reid cannot be dead. Hotch couldn't reconcile those two ideas in his mind. HIs stern mask was quickly breaking and he let loose a few silent tears. 

JJ was in firm denial. She went and asked every one where he was until Prentiss, her heart breaking, grabbed her by the arms and sat her down. 

"JJ, listen to me, he's not coming back. Ok, he's dead. And we have to accept that." 

JJ looked at her with complete shock, and burst into tears. Prentiss hugged her, and gave into her own tumult of emotions. 

Rossi was standing by himself, staring into some wayward embers. Out of everyone that he expected to die on the job, he expected it to be him, or Hotch. Not Reid, he didn't deserve this. He leaned back and looked at the stars with glistening eyes. "I could really go for some scotch right now kid." 

The firefighters were able to positively identify the officers that went into the shed. It was harder to find Reid however. But whatever hope they had was crushed when another body showed up along with Reid's effects. It was almost impossible to identify but they took it back with them for the funeral. 

The funeral took place on the coldest day. They flew in Reid's mother and offered to fly in his father. He refused saying he would grieve the death of his son in his own way. There were no dry eyes as they watched the body of the youngest member of the BAU lowered into the cold snowy ground. 

And just like that, Reid was...gone. 

No one touched his stuff. They couldn't. They left it there until management came and packed it all away. Secretly they paid the rent on his apartment for three months until the landlord came and told them to give it up. 

Packing up a dead friend's things should never happen to anyone. 

It was like scraping off the scab to a freshly healed wound and letting it bleed all over again.  They had no idea what to do with his things. He didn't have a will, he didn't think about that stuff. They decided to keep some things with them, and store the rest. For what purpose they had no idea. 

The group dynamic changed. 

Hotch became more closed off if possible, his face more lined from the guilt of loosing a team member.

Morgan became more silent. He had several of Reid's books in his desk that he would flip through from time to time.

JJ considered leaving. She had written out her letter of resignation and everything, but something inside of her couldn't do it. She felt like she was betraying Reid's memory by leaving. 

Prentiss started drinking more and more. She showed up late to work and received countless violations. Hotch threatened to fire her and deep inside she was relieved, she wanted to get out but didn't have the courage herself. 

Garcia saw her team crumbling in front of her eyes and didn't know how to help. Her own desk was slightly less colorful and she was slightly less cheerful but she was trying because this was her only family and she needed them to be there. 

Sometimes a death affects people more than it should. 

The BAU held on, but it held on just barely. Needless to say, the death of Dr. Spencer Reid was like taking a bullet to the heart. The group would survive but it would never be the same.