Brownie Points

"How the Brownie Point system works"

Chapter 4

How the “Brownie Point” system works?

(Or is supposed to work)

How the brownie point system works and how it is supposed to work, are two completely different animals as we have seen with the one-sidedness.

Well, it’s just like they say you know “Lucky in love, Unlucky with fruit”, that’s what they say, whomever “they” are, I guess they say it, well they could if they wanted to, WHAT...oh sorry, yes it has nothing to do with what we are talking about!

The way the brownie point system is supposed to work is very simple, you do extra nice things for your wife, (things that she really doesn’t want to do) and she in turn gives you merit points that are called brownie points that you can in return exchange for a free ticket out of the dog house when you say or do something stupid and trust me, you are only Human, sooner or later you WILL say or do something stupid!

That is the way it is supposed to work, very simple, very easy, peasy, sqeezy!

Now of course we have to realize that the brownie point system is just like “A Double-Edged Sword that Cuts Both Ways” so to speak, as it is supposed to work exactly the same way but in reverse for us guys! You are starting to get it, that’s right but it doesn’t always work that way...hell it usually doesn’t work that way at all for most of us! This is where my book comes in handy for anyone that doesn’t have his finger on the pulse of his relationship and come on now, which guy is a pulse feeler...come on.

Because guys have a hard enough time learning anything, we are going to concentrate only on what is important and that is earning brownie points from her! Let’s face it, most of us if not just about all of us, will NEVER have to worry about her collecting brownie points from us...so why waste time learning it! The way that the brownie point system sometimes work is absolutely unpredictable which makes it so much harder for us guys to keep track of what we should do! What we shouldn’t do and how we shouldn’t do it because WHAT we do is at least as important as what we do NOT do, if you can follow that type of reasoning!

Remember our possible failures and impending doom during the grocery and garbage debacles, doing it wrong sometimes is worse than not doing it at all. If you don’t do something, you can always blame it on someone else, preferable someone else that isn’t present at the time and can’t defend themselves. But if you go ahead and want to be Mister Big Balls, then you just go right ahead but if you forget, or bring the wrong thing back, you’ll be forever known as Mister Peewee Marbles! So don’t try to be too tough or cool because you haven’t finished the book yet and haven’t loaded up on all your special fighting tools and weapons for the next level.

Settle down, grab another cup of joe and pull that ‘ol granny quilt up over your legs, find your glasses, there right over...well they were just...oh, oh, where are they? No, no, it’s okay, I found them they were on the top of my head, (should have felt the string around my neck I guess), did I say that out loud!

Okay, let’s cut the crap, we know that the brownie point system is only as honest as the people that are implementing it at the moment in your life! See, your mom or sister, anyone that has nothing personal to gain usually is pretty honest about the giving and taking of the brownie points. As well as each individual incident or task that you attempt to perform with the skill of a neurosurgeon, if something goes wrong, (and remember Murphy), the shaving of points will begin...and sometimes at random...or when you are sleeping.

I guess living in this modern world with a sometimes fair and sometimes corrupt brownie point system could be compared to living in the old days of scurvy dogs and peg-legged sailors of the glory days of Pirates! Aaaargh matey, hoi, hoi hoi on a barrel of rum or something like that. (that last line is to be read with a pirate accent) You never knew in those days if you were going to wake up dead, or not at all!