Unravel Me | Arrow [ COMPLETED ]

chapter eleven

"Would you still be my friend when I'm lonely?"
KEVIN GATES - 'Satellites'

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The TV played in the background, sound muted so as not to wake anyone else in the house. Cali sat with a pillow hugged to her chest, a blanket laying over her legs to keep her warm. It was still early, the sun hadn't yet risen, but sleep didn't come easy to the troubled. And Cali was troubled. Very troubled. It seemed as though she was never not troubled these days.

God, her life was just one trouble after another, wasn't it? She couldn't go three days let alone a week without some kind of crisis. Malcolm, Oliver, Tommy and Laurel, Thea. Their issues piled onto her shoulders, mixing with the remnants of Michael. Sooner or later, Cali was going to collapse under the weight.

She hugged the pillow tighter, trying to ignore the minute tremours that danced along her fingers and swirled on her palms. Her hands shook too often. She blamed Oliver entirely. Well, maybe some blame could be given to Michael, but she'd had a year and a half to get over him. A year and a half, and she still jumped when someone moved too quickly, still looked over her shoulder, still waited with baited breath for him to open the door to her apartment and drag her home.

"Trouble sleeping?"

Cali jerked sharply, the blanket slipping off her legs and pooling on the floor. Jesus, how hadn't she heard the footsteps? She was usually so in tune with her surroundings - always listening for the sounds of other people. She'd completely missed Walter's approach.

Oh. Walter. Cali blinked at him, trying to steady her breathing quickly. She didn't want Walter to be upset with her for being frightened. "Sorry," she said in a rush, barely remembering to keep her voice low. "Did I wake you?"

Walter eyes her keenly, a sad smile playing at his lips. He raised the glass of water in his hands. "No. Just came out for a drink." Cali nodded in understanding and spent a minute groping around for the blanket. Walter was kind enough to wait until she'd fixed it back over her legs before saying, "Are you alright?"

Cali fixed her gaze on the silent TV, barely registering the images that flickered past. "Yeah," she managed, cringing at how obviously not alright she sounded. "Just...thinking."

Walter hummed lowly, stepping over the threshold and moving further into the lounge room. Cali instantly moved to make space for him on the couch, desperately trying to keep her expression neutral. She felt horrible, disturbing his night like this, but she just couldn't shut her brain off.

Walter set his glass down on the side table and sat, rubbing at his face as though trying to clear the sleep away. Cali felt another stab of guilt. "Wipe that look away," Walter said softly. "You don't need to feel guilty for being upset or needing comfort. It's human."

Cali shook her head. "You should be sleeping."

Walter's eyes were kind and warm as he leaned forward slightly and admitted, "Moira snores. I think I might need a break from it. Just for a few minutes."

Cali flashed him a grin, small and strained as it was. She appreciated what Walter was doing - twisting what was happening as though he was staying up for himself and not for Cali. Some of the guilt eased. Not all of it, of course, but some of it.

For a moment, they just sat, Cali trying to find the words and Walter just waiting. He was good at that, waiting. He never rushed, never pressed, never became impatient. He just let her get herself together, let her gather her thoughts. He knew she'd speak when she was ready.