The Girl in the Mirror Christmas (Harry Styles fanfic)

23rd December.

A/N – Hey guys :) if you are reading this thanks! This is my Christmas special for The Girl in the Mirror, if you like it please vote & comment. The story is based on the time between The Girl in the Mirror and The Girl in the Mirror 2. It’s based on a few months after Sienna’s ordeal with Mitch, so don’t read this if you haven’t read The Girl in the Mirror, it won’t make sense in some parts if you don’t. The story is all based on Sienna’s point of view, until near to the end. Anyway I hope you enjoy it! Love yas…….Stacey xxx

 The Girl in the Mirror Christmas

Christmas, wonderful magical Christmas.The time of year when families come together, united for a day of celebrations. The enthusiastic smiles and joy of spending a day with the people you love. A day where you cherish old memories and create new ones, to reminisce on in years to come. It’s a time for giving, sometimes for even receiving. A day for children, belief and purity. That’s wonderful magical Christmas.
Christmas, lonely cold Christmas.
The time of year were the weather is as cold as the hearts which surround you. A day that for some feels just like every other day of the year. A time to broaden the loneliness inside and to make the longing stronger. It’s a time for the lonely to realise they are completely isolated in this world. A time for those who have nothing to cruelly still have nothing. It’s a day to avoid, to ignore if you can. That’s lonely cold Christmas.

Christmas was always just another day to me, it was always just the 25th December. The days surrounding it were just normal days, nothing more and nothing less. Christmas was never about presents or love, even at a young age. It was just another day, another day of normality. It was a day which proved I was different to the other people around me. I didn’t get the special day they talked about, with big smiles upon their faces. I never understood back then why I didn’t get a special day and they did, I was too young to understand. I understand now, I understand it all. I didn’t get the glowing fairy lights on the Christmas tree, the star sitting on top or the baubles hanging simultaneously. I didn’t get any of it.
I didn’t believe in Father Christmas, I didn’t get the option to believe in him. How could I believe? I spent all year being good and I wasn’t added to the good or the bad list. I was forgotten, I was irrelevant, even at Christmas. There was never a gift in sight or even a luxurious Christmas dinner to enjoy, not an ounce of love. There was none of it, nothing.
I eventually stopped caring, I stopped expecting anything. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t easy to hear the lavish things others got and the great day they had. I didn’t care about the presents, it was the love and family I needed, which I craved. Eventually it started to be hard trying to be good at the time, it was hard to be anything other than angry. My heart slowly turned black, bitterness held onto me and any hope vanished, never to come back.
That was when the lashings started, I wasn’t who they wanted me to be and I didn’t care. Even with the belts to my back, the cruel harsh punishments and the endless chores, I still didn’t care. I became immune to the cruelty and immune to love. I stopped living, I just got by and I was ok with that. I was used to living like that.
I was an outcast at school, nobody wanted to know the weird girl who flinched whenever someone came near her. They avoided conversations with me and I liked that, I liked being left alone. I just wanted to fade into the background and just get by, I didn’t want anything else. That’s when the bullying started, the endless days of taunting. They called me weird and a freak, they laughed at me. They made my life a misery, but that was before. That was all before I went on to bigger and better things, all before I became Sienna Star. Those same people who once bullied me, beg me to speak to them now and try to pretend they were my best friends. They forget the pain they caused, the endless nights of crying. The times I had to sit eating my lunch alone in the toilets to avoid the gum and spit in my hair. They were cruel, just like everything is in this world. I still don’t give them the time of day, they made my life a misery. They made me hate myself even more than I already did and I can never forgive them for that.
I became someone though and that’s when I got to create my own Christmas, I learnt what it really was. I finally got to experience it with people who cared, my ‘real’ family. I didn’t appreciate them as much as I should have done, but now I do. I appreciate them sharing their love with me and allowing me into their homes.
I wanted more though, I still wanted more. I had everything that I wanted, but there was still something missing. I was still missing him and without him nothing else was ever going to be enough.