Had It All - Union J George Shelley JJ Hamblett Fanfic

Part 21. Don't You Forget About Me.

Waking up being in love, and in the pressence of the man you love is a wonderful thing. Knowing he's perfectly in love with you, under the duvets and will wake up still feeling the same. And waking up with guilt crossing over is a whole other thing. We tried to stay up as long as possible last night, renting DVD's and cuddled up. 

It did sort of feel like the last day with George, but much more simpler. No dancing with slow meaningful music, no projected stars on the sky, no necklace with his initials. But it was replaced by walking under the moonlight by the river, watching our reflection by the rivers, and tasting lots of bare french food along the way. But what's important is basically how genuine and right it felt. Even though it wasn't.

I put my arms around JJ's waist, and kissed his naked shoulders. He groaned softly and took a moment before he moved his back and faced me. "Good morning beautiful", he breathed out. He traced my face with two of his fingers before he reached my cheeks and cupped into a kiss. "It's always nice waking up with you", i smiled. He reached my waist under the duvets and pulled me tighter towards him. "It's always nice spending time with you".

We lingered for more than twenty minutes, just us cuddling in bed watching the french news that we can't understand clearly. "We have brunch with my parents today", i reminded him while i brushed my teeth. He came into the bathroom only with his boxers on. Looking at his perfect tanned abs and messy quiff from the mirror was super cute. He grabbed his tooth brush and asked me for paste. "I haven't forgotten"

"What time is your flight?"
"Around 2 o'clock", he answered.
"I hope it won't be awkward. I haven't met them personally", he reminded me.
"You know you're a true charmer, if you aren't aware. You'll do fine, okay?", i touched his face, he smied and went in and have a shower. 

While JJ was busy in the shower, i decided i had a few minutes alone. I wripped a few pages of paper from the hotel notebook. And grabbed the free pen from the table, i slid the door and walked out the terrace. Looking at the amazing few of Paris, i breathed in. I leaned back to the glass door and sat down. starting to scribble my awful writing in to a letter.

I sighed,

Dear George

I know this is hard, for all of us. You and Me. I know that you don't deserve me. I know that i'm a horrible person, but bare with me and read through this letter, and you won't hear from me again if you want.

I just want to say, i'm sorry. I know you don't believe me, but i do. I'm sorry that i was unfaithful, going behind your back. I'm sorry that i lied. I'm sorry that i can't be the best for you. I'm sorry for everything.

But i'm not sorry that i've fallen for you. I'm not sorry for all the fun times that have happened. It's not fair to say that it was bullshit, because it wasn't. Every moment that we spent together was real. My love for you was real. I loved you, but for the last few weeks i wasn't in love with you. A relationship based on sinful attraction happened.

I know i should've denied all of it, and stayed faithfull. But what i have with JJ.. i know he's the one. even though none of us believe that there is such thing. But if you know.. you know.

And i'd like to thankyou for everything you've done for me. For the love these last month, for the affection that brings me happiness. I'm sorry i can't return that, but i can return this. I don't deserve it, and you can give it to the woman that trully loves you. And i hope you'll be happy with her, whoever she is.

Praying for you success, please don't take it out on JJ. so this is good bye.. It's been amazing. Thank you, and sorry.

Love,