If I'm gonna die, I'd might as well rot
That was my mentality
A little girl lost in a big, big world
She never really learned the skills she needed
She knew things like abuse and suffering
But not a thing was known about how
To not be a sad individual with nothing
But a chip on that broken shoulder
And bandages that don't cover all the damage
I once bought my dad a t-shirt that I now wear
It said something like
Scars are tattoos with better stories
But at this point I'd rather ink every bit of skin
That I've tattered
I've dabbled in nothing but blood
I cry tears for all the loved ones I've lost over the years
It does nothing to bring them back to me
At night we have conversations
I cry every damn time
I wish I knew how to tell them
I don't know how to cope with this pain
Even a thousand miles of distance
Again and again
Did nothing to stop the ghoul in my soul
From feeding on what took the light from my eyes long ago
So dim I couldn't even see in the daytime
I really hate that feeling
That sinks me deeper and deeper
There's a rope around my waist
And even though I wanna fight the waves
I'm tied down and I see
The storm in the horizon
Someone I love once told me
There will always be apart of you
That walks all the way around the barn
To see it from every angle
And I'd learn to use it to my advantage
