UNWANTED

CHAPTER 12 - A17.30 - LIZAVETA

I was fuming the whole way down. It had me wondering if it was me who was at check mate. The emerald ring box he pulled out of his coat pocket was proof enough that I was deluding myself if I thought even for a second, I knew what he was doing. I'd played right into him.

"A token from Antarctica." He said, grabbing my free hand and slipping it on me. He didn't even wait for my approval. He didn't even care that it was the wrong way around; no one can propose to me, it was custom that the one with the higher rank would be the one to ask. That didn't matter to him, I didn't matter to him, only he mattered to him. But that was expected.

It burned a little, the silver chafing my skin. "I'll put in on your right, and then you can transfer it to your left once we make the announcement."

Announcement. I wanted to vomit.

It was shaped like an eye, tapered into points at both ends, surrounded by stones all over, looking like a snowflake, a compass. It was diamond and silver, cold to the touch, like the soul of its giver. How come all the jewelry I owned was a symbol not of love or wealth or status, but of freedom being denied? Shackles. They were all shackles.

Once we landed, he got out first and held the door open for me, like the gentleman he pretended to be. "It was a pleasure, Lizaveta." He said in a tone so glorious and victorious that I wanted to slit his throat and let the blood spill on Kuscovo's manicured lawns.

But for now, I had to settle for his smirk.

Without thinking, I fisted my heavy hand solid and drove it to his face. He went down easy, his whole body hitting the ground in a thud. Right where his mouth met his cheek, a big red gash was left by the diamond ring he gave me just moments earlier. The diamond had his blood now too. At least it can cut us both.

"Yes, it was." I said, boarding the runner again, leaving him in the dust of the courtyard. "We're leaving!" I shouted at my crew, seeing Jazzy bound towards me from the garden where she was resting after her hunt.

Ilyaas was first to come inside, his face of concern was overtaken by the smile that wouldn't go away. He saw the punch and he was very satisfied at my technique, satisfied someone finally took the smirk off that douchebag. "You cut pretty boy's face."

"He isn't that pretty." I nodded, willing myself to smile, but not having the strength to do so.

Once the door was closed between me and Kuscovo, and once the pilot was tinted out of view, my throat tightened.

"I can't-" My breathing was getting faster now, as if each one I took couldn't quench me. Soon, my hands followed suit, shaking and sweating in a full-blown panic attack. What a weak empress.

Jazzy came near me, placing her head on my lap, her eyes full of concern. I felt the jolt, and we lifted off the ground before the tears followed.

Ilyaas didn't know yet, and still, he didn't ask. He came closer to drape an arm over me and started to calm me down.

When we were stuck under the rubble of his small town in the desert, we had a game; name three things you noticed, and you slowly forget everything you feel. You ground yourself from the panic lifting you, shaking you... Breaking you. You count.

"One... The sky is blue." He said. "Two... The air is warm." Ly's hand stroked my hair. "Three-"

"I didn't kill Upapa."

He just opened his arms to me, as he always did.

"No, you didn't."

×+×

I didn't have lunch with Theo because I didn't think I'd make it out with the contents of my stomach. I thought I wanted to kill my grandfather, but the urge to murder someone had never been as strong as the urge to kill Theo Argentine Velez.