COURSE CORRECT

Module 4.7 - Places and Spaces

For an introvert like me, "Home" is a sacred word. I love being on vacation and experiencing new places but home is where I'm happiest and most relaxed.

Home is an energetic "safe space" for those of us who learned early on that the world can be a very unsafe and chaotic place. As a child, I also experienced chaos at home and that's probably why it became so important to me, once I moved out on my own, to make my home a true respite for the soul.

I pride myself on having a home that makes people feel welcome, relaxed, and taken care of. I want my workplace and my home place to be an extension of me. We spend far too much time in these places not to infuse them with soul-nurturing energy.

The Architecture of a Wonderful Space

Know what the number one requirement is for a place that is soul-nurturing? IF IT NURTURES YOUR SOUL!

Advice abounds in books, shows, and magazines on how to have the "perfect" home. While I think that there's wisdom in some of the advice, especially if you have no experience "playing" with your home and don't really know where to start, I have come to believe that "home" means different things to different people. Your sensibilities about your spaces are shaped by your personality, upbringing, personal aesthetic, dreams, and emotions. I'd never be happy in a sparse, modernistic home. But I'm also frazzled by overly cluttered spaces. It's a feeling and I try to follow my feelings when it comes to making a home and you should do the same.

Stockpiling and the Burden of Our Stuff

I recently watched Doris, the Sally Field movie where she plays a quirky, colorful older woman who's "stuck" in a few areas of her life and latches her Velcro affections onto a much younger man. What I gleaned as the takeaway of Doris: We can avoid the truly meaningful aspects of living by getting too attached to and buried under our "stuff."

Whether physical stuff or psychological stuff, it still piles up and boxes us in if we don't deal with it.

I'm excessively tidy. I'll not make light of those who struggle with OCD by throwing out the "I'm SO OCD about cleaning" (though I suspect that if there's a spectrum, I'm on it.) I drive myself crazy sometimes with my inability to relax if I see dust-tufts under the chair across the room.

I'm the person who gets comments like, "You make me feel bad about my house." "You make me feel like a slacker." "Why do you have to make it so perfect in here all the time?"

Or...jokingly...maybe...

"If this is how clean your house always is, I'm going to have to rethink our friendship."

People have told me that my home is so warm, inviting, and pleasant to be in. (Even teen boys, who are walking combos of sweat, puppy, dirty socks and obliviousness have said this to me!) I do glow at the compliment and I pride myself on engaging every sense and giving off a certain "vibe" in my house but that's not really why it's so clean.

It's this way because I literally can't let it be dirty.

It's this way because I've learned to manage my anxiety by managing my surroundings. It feels like my house is the only thing in this unpredictable, messy life that I can control.

Doris was a hoarder. Seems her mother indoctrinated her into this lifestyle and it stuck. What Doris was holding on to prohibited her from letting go in ways she needed to in order to move forward.

Have you ever known a hoarder? I honestly haven't. That's a psychological pile of used yogurt containers that I don't know enough about to speculate on.