Redemption of the Irredeemable ❯Reylo Story❮

I

"Feel the darkness within you, it will consume your very soul if you do not embrace it! Become what you were meant to be!" That same, menacing voice screamed in my head. I woke from my bed in a sweaty, frantic mess. I whipped my head around and only saw the empty, lonesome hut that was my room. The hilt of my lightsaber gleaming in the moonlight shining through the temples window. I averted my eyes from the weapon and stared at the stone walls of my room.

I ran my fingers through my messy hair and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I rested my elbows in my legs as I bent over, trying to calm myself down with all that has happened. Every night that voice came, every night I had to here it's growling and angered voice rip itself into my mind and speak so clearly, it felt real. I feared this voice yet I feared more of what would happen if I told master Skywalker. Would he kick me out of the new order? Would he kill me out of sheer panic or strategy? Would he abandon me...just as my parents did?

There was too much at stake to tell Luke of some voice from whom was probably just a nightmare. I took a deep breath and stood up from my bed, walking toward the closed door and grabbing a brown cloak on my way out. I pushed back the burlap curtain that substituted a door and stepped out into the chill night.

A slight breeze washed over my body from a small sea just beyond the temples borders. I wrapped the brown cloak around my body and pulled the hood over my head, beginning to walk toward a place where I could clear my mind and just...think.

As I walked through the dark night of the temple, I felt like no one within that temple would understand what I felt inside. They all believed that they would become the next keepers of the peace, these warriors that this new order will gift to the galaxy.

"Kill your master, join the dark side and feel the power of darkness!" The voice croaked, chills ran up my spine as his voice returned. I froze in fear and felt my whole begin to tremble as I failed to form any words to ask what this voice was.

My mind felt invaded, used and toyed as a disgusting cackle filled my mind. "The Jedi are nothing more than soldiers...join the dark side and together you and I shall grasp the galaxy with an iron fist" the voice offered, I balled my hands into a fist and shook my head.

I would not let this voice tell me what to do; it was merely a nightmare or hallucination from my lack of sleep. I simply raised my trembling hands and rubbed my eyes, but this passive pain in my chest never subsided. I turned back toward the temple and stared at its jar shaped structure and the wooden hurts that were the other students.

There were eleven others, four girls and seven boys, all of which were more practiced than me with the force. Luke had said I had a natural gift for combat due to my years on Jakku but combat meant nothing to me.

I wanted to learn about myself, what this feeling inside me was that I couldn't explain. It felt as though part of me was missing, like I had to find something that would fill this void. I took a deep breath and smelled the salty water of the sea faintly fill my nose, the scattered wooden torches that light a path to the temple was the only light other than the blinding moons above me.

I began to walk back toward my Hutt, feeling exhausted as I knew that I needed sleep, even if this voice prohibited such luxuries. I told myself every night that I'd sleep, and yet almost every night I awake either panicking or in tears.

The sound of my footsteps mushing the grass beneath my boot as I strode back toward my bed, the Hutt not far from me as I walked. I despised feeling this abandonment in my heart, I assumed finding this new family of people like me would cure that feeling but it only worsened. The closest thing I had to a family here was my only friend, Vai, and yet I still felt alone. Hearing other students talk about their parents and how excited they all are about their children becoming Jedi's.

How marvelous would it be for my mother and father to appear from nowhere and look at me with the same love Luke shares with his nephew, a boy named Ben Solo. That family love that I long for, Luke is the closest thing I have to a father and yet I feel no connection with my master.

I arrived at my Hutt and pulled back the curtain, slowly entering the small room. The removed the cloak from my body and placed it over a small chair on the far wall. I approached my bed and pulled back the blanket that rested over the mattress. I crawled into my bed and lifted the blanket over my arms, cautiously shutting my eyes and trying to hide within the covers as best I could.

"A Jedi does not have nightmares, a Jedi must not focus on past attachments or mistakes, they just learn to grow" Luke's voice echoed through my mind, one of the earlier lessons he'd taught us about learning to move on. But none of this made sense anymore, if a Jedi wasn't supposed to have nightmares...then why do I still receive these burdening voices every night, tormenting to do what I've been taught against?

"why me?" I asked in the darkness of my room, knowing no one outside of this Hutt would hear me..or would they even care to listen?