Paused // They Call It the Honeymoon Stage ( RusAme )

Ch 9

"Three, you've left your daughter at my house without any contact. I was beginning to think you were never coming back."

America's pissed and 'I don't care this is stupid' expression dropped for a moment.

"Dammit- I-"

"You forgot? Huh, I expected more out of you. Oh well." UK sighed. "Four, you two seem to fight every chance you get. You know I've blocked you? Because every call is you sobbing about your abusive drunk boyfriend trying to kill you."

Russia shifted in his seat. That must have been UK exaggerating. He wasn't that bad, and America wouldn't spread lies about him. Well. He would, but he wouldn't. Not about him. He wouldn't lie about him. 

America was back to his tough, too cool for school attitude.

Ready to ignore him. He didn't know why he thought this would be a good idea. This was so stupid. Sitting in a room with his Dad basically by himself while UK just kept insulting him. Russia was right.

"Are you listening?" UK said, clicking his pen repetitively.

"Yeah." America hissed.

Russia just nodded. He didn't even look at UK. 

"Seven. You never talk to anyone, unless you need something, America. Russia, you drink too much, and don't even ask for help. You need to be more social."

"Why does it matter. I talk to America plenty."

"Actually, according to America. You never talk to him and treat him like a 'used sex toy off a reject Ebay'. That was said to Canada."

Russia looked at America. What the hell? Was that true? He could tell it was, the look in his face.

"What the fuck?" He felt his face heat up as he tensed up.

"I- Rus- look. It's just, I was drunk and ang-"

"When I'm drunk I don't say shit like that!"

"Uh, excuse me!? 'Прекрати есть'. Does that ring a bell?"

"That was one time-"

America stood up, "Oh no it was not, bitch. Yesterday, was it, you yelled at me for asking what we should do about our WRECKED CAR!" 

UK stayed silent. It was somehow impressive how easily the argument started.

"You say all this as if you're the perfect one. Always pestering me, always yelling that you hate me but then you kiss me all over, touch my di-"

"MY FUCKING DAD IS RIGHT THERE!"

"YEAH WELL SOMEBODY SHOULD HEAR ABOUT HOW MANY MIXED FUCKING SIGNALS YOU GIVE ME! HOW YOU ALWAYS SWITCH BACK AND FORTH! AND NOW APPARENTLY YOU LIE TO EVERYONE ABOUT ME!? IS THIS WHY CANADA ALWAYS GIVES THOSE DAMN LOOKS!?"

"Alright! Quit yelling! Please. It's giving me a headache. Sit down. Talk it out like normal people." UK spat.

America sat down, and Russia relaxed a bit. Both knew that if UK wasn't there they'd be all over each other.

For once America didn't know what would happen tonight.

A timer went off.

"Thank god. Times up, go home. Come back here next Friday. I feel bad for France-" UK left the room. Hoping they'd come by to get their child later. Having a feeling neither would though.

It was just America and Russia. They stared at each other. After awhile getting up and leaving. It was a silent drive home. A silent walk to the bedroom.

They laid in bed, both facing away from each other. This was the farthest they've ever been apart in bed.

It was so quiet that both could hear the faint ringing you feel in your ears when there's silence.

"So."

America couldn't handle it any longer, he had to say something. 

"Are you mad at me?" It was weird, he didn't know what Russia was feeling. Normally if he was angry, he'd be yelling or having sex with him, but it was quiet. And they weren't even touching.

It was awhile before Russia answered. America started to believe he was asleep.

"No."

"Then what's wrong?" America asked, he sat up, but Russia remained laid down. "Please, I don't even understand what's happening between us. This isn't like you."

"You really think I only use you, as a doll?"

He froze, tears forming. He knew the counseling was a bad idea... no. He didn't. He should have. He was wrong, but he was so sure.

"I didn't mean to say that."

America looked for anything. This happened the other day, didn't it? If he started crying, Russia would have to forgive him. 

"That makes no sense."

"How- look I just didn't mean to ok!? Look at me!" America was trying to bring tears to his eyes, but his teeth were clenching, his head started to ache.

Why would he act like this!?

"I don't care, I don't care if you didn't mean it. I care that you even wanted to say it. That you even say such a thing in the first place." Russia sat up and looked at him. "I don't see you as a doll. I see you, as my Kroshka, someone I love, but it's getting so hard to do that. We almost broke up, again. I don't want to do that, but sometimes you make me wonder if we should and I-"

He must have zoned out a bit while saying that because America was crying now. 

"Oh no- America- I'm so sorry-"

He didn't really think about the words, they just came out. He lifted his arms to his partner's face. America couldn't help but sob. Hiccuping and rubbing his nose and eyes with his sleeve.

He planned to fake it, but things don't always go as planned. 

He hugged Russia, laying his head down on his chest. Trying to breathe normally. Wrapping his arms around him. Russia accepted the hug, rubbing his back comfortingly. As much as he wanted to, he didn't feel love.

He felt sorry. He felt ashamed, but he had no love left it seemed.

A tear rolled down Russia's cheek.

I've been getting worried that my like, writing 'quality' will drop or something. Like idk.

Anyways see yall next Monday