Jumbo Balls [Karasuno Chatfic]

004

'Sugamama' Has Reset Chat Nicknames

Hisashi: Thank you. I was going to vomit. Why was mine Pickles anyways?

Koushi: Don't you like pickles?

Hisashi: How'd you find that out, stalker?

Koushi: Actually, I used the 'Haikyuu!! Wiki'

Daichi: Wot dat?

Koushi: I'm choosing not to understand Daichi anymore.

Shouyou: Kageyama told me that I am too short to be his type!!

Koushi: HIS "TYPE"??

Tobio: I never said that. You're lying.

Daichi: yeye

Yuu: Everytime the captain sends something I lose a braincell.

Shimizu: What braincells?

Koushi: Stop being so mean!

Koushi: I get it, he's not on the smart side

Koushi: But you don't have to insult him!

Daichi: ^I ayeet

Asahi: agree*

Daichi: agrease

Hitoka: Hello hello

Shimizu: Good evening.

Ryuunosuke: Hello, Yachi!

Tadashi: Hi Yachi

Hitoka: I'm so glad you all replied.

Daichi: gd mrning

Hitoka: Is your head okay?

Koushi: Ignore him.

Keishin: I have some popsicles for you guys.

Shouyou: Really?? Tysm coach!!

Daichi: Tank u

Keishin: What's wrong with Daichi?

Tobio: That's just how he texts.

Ittetsu: Do you really think I want to see that, Daichi?

Daichi: M srri

Ittetsu: Were you apologising?

Daichi: Yes.

Koushi: Daichi, are you straight?

Daichi: No.

Koushi: Since you can spell 'Yes' and 'No' correctly, you're only allowed to say those two words.

Daichi: Bt hau?

Koushi: Make it work.

Tadashi: Hey guys.

Koushi: You have something to say, don't you?

Tadashi: Yep. Tsukki.

Kei: ..?

Tadashi: What he actual fuck, man?

Tadashi: I thought you loved me.

Tobio: ...

Tobio: So... are y'all breaking up?

Kinoshita: Please do.

Kinoshita: I don't want to see anymore lovey-dovey crap at the club.

Koushi: Tsukishima, do you want to die?

Kei: What'd I do?

Tadashi: I saw those texts to Nekoma's captain! Last night! On your phone!

Ryuunosuke: Whoooaaa what were you guys doing last night? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tadashi: We won't be doing it anymore so it doesn't matter

Ryuunosuke: Uh oh. I am out of brain capicity. I cannot understand anything else.

Keishin: *sips tea*

Shouyou: I thought Coach Ukai was proffesional

Keishin: I am. Now continue on with the tea.

Tadashi: Well, the tea is, Tsukki and I are over.

'Koushi' Has Added 'Morisuke' To The Chat

Morisuke: YOU AND KUROO ARE BOTH DYING, TSUKISHIMA!

Morisuke: WATCH YOUR BACK FROM NOW ON!

'Morisuke' Has Left The Chat

Kei: Why the hell'd you tell him?

Koushi: He means everything he says.

'Keisin' Has Changed Their Name To 'Ukai'

Ittetsu: But why?

Ukai: Imagine a bunch of toddler crows calling you by your first name.

Koushi: ........

Tadashi: I don't think I'd want to see toddler crows say any form of human speech....

Ukai: Fair

'Tsukishima' Has Left The Chat

Ittetsu: I'm going to leave him be for now.

Ukai: Good idea.

Shouyuou: So... Tsukishima is cheating on Yamaguchi?

Tadashi: Yes.

Hitoka: What'd the text messages say?

Tadashi: They were flirting.

Koushi: Baby crow look, I'm sure Kuroo and Tsukishima have done it in the past

Tadashi: Actually, it was a threesome

'Hitoka' Has Left The Chat

Koushi: BETWEEN WHO?

Tadashi: Tsukki, Nekoma's captain, and Fukurodani's captain.

Koushi: Akaashi wants to talk.

'Koushi' Has Added 'Keiji' To The Chat

Keiji: I apologise on Bokuto's behalf and I had no idea he did that.

Tadashi: I'm not upset with your captain about stuff that's in the past.

Tadashi: I'm upset that Tsukki is still flirting with Nekoma's captain.

Keiji: Did you ask him about it?

Tadashi: He made it sound like he wants to do it again when I did...

Keiji: I have a knife.

'Keiji' Has Left The Chat

'Chikara' Has Rennamed The Chat To 'Jumbo Balls'

Koushi: DANGIT ENNOSHITA.