Morning came all to quick, the sun seeping into Conscious room. Her blue eyes sparkling in the light. The girl has been up before the sun rose, unable to catch a full eight hours of sleep- but then again. She was immortal. Shuffling around her bed thinking of her home. She'd dreamt about her brothers death again, making her rather homesick. Not that she felt out of place here but she felt out of touch with life.
Conscious missed her life and wasn't sure why her emotions were impacting her so greatly recently. It's like she was turning.. good? Not that she was a cruel person but she definitely wasn't the kindest person you've met. Sitting up she changed into her uniform heading the dining hall. Not waiting for anyone. She sat alone looking at her hands, these feelings were making her feel things she couldn't explain.
She truly wished to be a muggle sometimes, that being the daughter of a greater power was a crime more than a blessing. She should've had children by now, she should've been married and growing old with her lover. She should've finished school long ago, started a career and planning for the end of her life. Not living everyday. Growing to see friends literally come and go. Knowing she'll never be a mother or a wife. She put her head on the table.
"What the fuck is wrong with me" Conscious muttered.
She's never once cared about these things. She knew the cost of immortality and wanted it more than ever. She enjoyed her power. Didn't she? Tears threatened to escape her eyes, she sniffed slightly before rising her head a bit. No one was here yet. And for some reason, she bursted our crying.
What. The. Hell.
She wasn't even sad. Or was she? She honestly didn't even know it's like something in her snapped and it wasn't for the good. Tears poured from her eyes, her breathing unable to get in control again. Why was this happening? More like how is this happening! Conscious hasn't cried in ages. In fact this was the first time she's really broken down since become immortal decades ago.
"What the fuck!" Conscious cursed again. Her head snapped at the sound of students talking, she tried her best to contain herself. She saw Zevi walking towards her with Tom by his side. She grabbed a napkin wiping away her tears before they could have seen. Toms brow knitted as he came closer to her, Zevi to engaged in his story of Quidditch. Something was wrong, Tom could see it before even getting close enough. He knew when he didn't see her in the common room waiting. When she didn't sleep next to him last night as well.
"Good morning!" Conscious spoke Zevi sat across from her and Tom sitting next to her.
Tom glanced at her face. Fresh tear marks were on her pale cheeks. "You weren't in the common room."
She nodded. "I wanted to study before."
"With no books?" Zevi teased. Conscious glared. "I only just sat down." Abraxas and Alfred sat next to Zevi moments later.
"You freaks predicted us sitting?" Alfred laughed. Conscious face burned slightly, and Tom noticed. Tom rose and took Conscious by her arm pulling her up before dragging the pair out. The group eyed each other. "Did I make a bad joke?"
"Tom what the-" Conscious was cut of by Tom spinning and kissing her. He held her cheeks lightly as she slowly held his forearm. He pulled away looking down at her.
"Are you alright?" His hands still firm on her face.
She looked at his eyes. "Yes."
Tom didn't buy it. "You are crying."
"Is that a question?" Conscious muttered looking down. Tom placed a finger on her chin raising her face up to eye level again.
"You have stained cheeks."
"Are you Auror now?" Conscious frowned.
"Conscious." Tom said firmly. She ignored him.
"What's wrong?"
She couldn't tell him. He hated muggles and if he knew her regrets he would lose trust in her. "I can't Tom."
This angered him deeply and he wasn't sure why. "What do you mean?"
She took a step back from him. "It's complicated and you wouldn't understand."
"Try me." Tom said taking another step closer.
Conscious heard more students coming and she didn't wish to continue this talk here. She grabbed his hand before disappearing into smoke reappearing in Toms room. Conscious sat on his bed, signalling him to follow which he did.
Tears left her eyes again. Tom studied her, unsure of what to do he's never seen her cry. Hell he hasn't cried since he was a boy.
"Your crying." Tom stated, while taking a tear and looking at it on his finger tips.
Conscious laughed slightly. "Yes Tom, what you never cry?"
"Not since I was a boy." Tom spoke still looking at her tear.
"You were raised muggle, do you ever wish you could've stayed muggle?" Conscious asked.
Tom froze stiff. Why on earth would she ask this? "Absolutely not. The muggles who raised me were absolutely cruel to me. They punished me in the orphanage, the children there would tease me and accused me of terrible acts. I use to cry myself to sleep. Before I realized the only way to make it stop was for everyone to fear me, I stopped crying and I focused everything in me to hate. Muggles destroyed any happiness in my life and I want to destroy any happiness in them."
Conscious gulped. Of course Tom wouldn't have agreed, he wouldn't understand. But it wasn't his fault he was raised to be like this. She touched his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Tom."
He'd never spoken about his past before like this. He hated muggles no word could explain it. The nuns at the orphanage always sending him to bed with no food, the kids making fun of him non stop. It was the cruelty of others that turned Tom into this. And he had no plans to ever been seen weak again.
"I don't need an apologize Conscious but why ask such thing?"
"Because Tom, being immortal, I. I think a part of me regrets it deeply. I wish I could be normal. Be born into something different. I want to love someone without them dying and I staying young. I want to watch my children grow one day not they out grow me. Having a simple life instead of constant enemies attacking us." Conscious cried.
"You want to be muggle." Tom spoke, words laced with disgust. He stood up looking down at the girl.
This was why she was upset? Her power was given to the wrong soul, how dare she ever wish to be something so weak.
"I want to be normal Tom." Conscious cried.
"You have suck great power and you're saying you don't want it." Tom stated.
She didn't answer because to her, this 'power' was nothing but a curse.
"You won't understand Tom." Conscious muttered. "It's a curse not power."
Tom looked at her seeing that she was truly unhappy with her power and immortality. He knew some people weren't cut out for power but he never thought it'd be her. An idea came to his mind that could help his girlfriend smile again.
"Give me your power then."
