It's Complicated

Chapter One

"Many times, you determine the path of your life, or should I say you decide it. However, some variables need to be considered when making these plans. If I decide to apply for this job, will the employer consider hiring me? If I speak to this individual, will they like me enough to be my friend? If I decide to open up my entire heart to this person, will they even love me for my true self? With so many variables, is it even really our decision to determine the path of our life? I mean, we all have ideas as to where we see ourselves in the future, but the reality of it all is unpredictable. Let's face it, there are better job candidates out there who are competing for the same position as you. Most people already have the friends that they love dearly, and frankly would not like the fact that you invited yourself in the mix. There will be instances where you will devote your everything to that one person, and it will most definitely lead to heartbreak and a waste of your time. Do you know what we can do to curb the disappointment, the shame, the hurt, and the pain? We can continue to persevere and believe that one day, once we tread on without failure and not program our mind to think that it's the end of the world, we will conquer that dream job, we will acquire those family-like friends, and we will get the person of our dreams. Ladies and Gentlemen - the fight has just begun."

Everyone burst into applause followed by a standing ovation. If there was any time that I thought that I deserved to be valedictorian was today. I had given that speech from my heart and I couldn't have been any prouder of myself at that moment and evidently, it seems like everyone in the crowd felt the same way. I gave a thumbs up to my best friend Josie, who was sitting together with my parents and my older brother. She beamed and returned the thumbs up, the glow on her face indicated that she was very proud as well.

I went back to my seat as the rest of the graduation ceremony passed by. There were a few more speeches and some guest performances from both past as well as current students of the school. Graduation had always made me overjoyed. What was it about them? I wondered to myself, could it be the thought of moving on to another level; ending an existing chapter of life? All I knew with this being my graduation and all, I Sophia, was overwhelmed with joy.

I had gone through a lot to make it to this point. I sacrificed a regular teenage life for this. I hardly had any free time, rarely hung out with any friends - well technically the only friends I had was Josie, my brother Stanley and occasionally Levi, who was Stanley's best friend and roommate. I never had a boyfriend, I wasn't aware of what a social life entailed - heck I haven't even had my first kiss yet, so that should sum up how school-oriented my life was. The only reason I still had a best friend was that she was the most understanding person on this earth. Josie was two years older than me so she knew what it was like in this stage of life. My parents always told me that I didn't need to work so hard, that I could have a little fun sometimes, but I didn't mind, it was my choice and it was always my personal goal to be the best in everything I do, always, no matter the cost.

It was time to start distributing certificates. I waited patiently for my name to be called.

"Sophia German, Our valedictorian of the graduating class of 2019."

I stood as I heard everyone cheering me on as I proceeded to the stage to collect my diploma. By the end of the ceremony, I had collected many awards and prizes, including, department awards for English, Mathematics, and Science; that is Physics, Biology, and Chemistry; a prize for outstanding performance in the debate club, an award for punctuality, determination, and perseverance.

After the ceremony was over, I stood outside of the graduation hall awaiting my family who was still inside. As people who attended the ceremony walked past me, some of them congratulated me on my achievement while others smiled and nodded at me in approval. Finally, I saw Stanley coming out of the exit with a huge grin on his face.

"You finally did it Sofie" he gave me a bear hug and nuzzled my head.

"And she can finally join us in the land of the living" said Josie walking up behind him eagerly.

"Okay Stanley, give me a chance, I want to embrace her too," Stanley rolled his eyes at her and moved aside, while she hugged me even more tightly than Stanley had done.

"Okay guys, it's not that serious," I take it back "Okay it is, it's finally over!" I squealed.

"For now," said my father finally making his way outside. He kissed the top of my head.

"Congratulations Sof," my mother said joining him.

"Thank you everyone, I feel so happy and liberated at this point."

"And that speech kicked ass sis," Stanley hi-fived me as our father gave us a hard glare.

"Sorry," Stanley and I said in unison. Our father didn't like us to use any form of inappropriate language and even though Stanley wasn't living with us anymore, he still had to adhere to the rules when he was around us.

"So, what are the plans for tonight?" my mother inquired.

"Well Stanley and I decided that we were going to take Sofie out," Josie said.

"I thought we were going to have a family celebration," I stated, "At home."

"This is your graduation night; do you want to spend it at home with mom and dad?" Stanley said to me.

"Stanley!" Mom shouted playfully while they both laughed. "But he has a point baby girl, go out and enjoy yourself."

"She's right," Dad added "You deserve it," he hugged me.

"Just be careful," Mom said as she and Dad left us.

"Well that was easy," I exclaimed, "So where are we heading to?" I asked Josie and Stanley.

"Levi is throwing a party, we could go there," Stanley stated as he watched his phone as if for confirmation. Josie looked at him in astonishment with a face that said 'really?'

Levi is Stanley's best friend for practically all his life, almost like Josie and I, they were brothers. Some years ago, Josie had a huge crush on Levi and when she finally dared to let him know, he had rejected her. Since after that, things became awkward between them. So, one could imagine what family gatherings were like when they were both invited.

"Come on Josie, let the past be the past, Levi doesn't even think about that anymore," Stanley had read her facial expression.

"He can't think about it anymore because it wasn't his ego that was bruised!"

"But that was five years ago, let it go!" Stanley almost shouted at her.

"How do you ever let go of your crush turning you down?" she said while looking at me. I shrugged, knowing better than to get involved with my brother and Josie's disagreements. "Sophia, help him see where I'm coming from," she pleaded.

"Josie!" Stanley said sternly. She turned her attention from me to him, and they glared at each other as if communicating with their minds. I stared away from them awkwardly.

"Okay, we will go." She sighed while finally breaking the gaze.

I always wondered if my brother and my best friend had something going on - not that I would mind- they would have made an extremely cute couple. However, when I brought up the idea of them being together, they would both shut it down. Stanley always changed the topic, while Josie always claimed that my brother was a dick. Josie wasn't far from the truth, but I felt like if the right person came along my brother was capable of change. Sometimes the way they acted towards each other said something completely different. The way they looked at each other, the private conversations that they never wanted to share with me and especially the way Stanley was able to calm her down in any situation, which I had never been able to do. Who knows, maybe I just saw things in a different light?

"Alright, it's settled then" I exclaimed "Party with Levi" we all smiled.

"It's settled," Josie rolled her eyes.

"Meanwhile, we could go get something to eat," Stanley started walking away, "I'm hella hungry."

"Me too!" Josie and I said in unison as we followed Stanley to his car.