Bikers, Chains and Bad Boys

Chapter 21

(unedited)
Bikers, Chains and Bad Boys: Chapter 21

     My hand shook as I reached for the glass Brody pushed my way. My eyes caught onto the dried blood still staining my hands and my stomach lurched as I made to swallow. I held my breath to keep from throwing up. I hadn't the chance to clean up yet through the chaos.

     My eyes fluttered shut as I threw back the rest of my drink and slammed the glass down on the table. I could only imagine what kind of Carrie reject I looked like at that moment. People rushed around me, yelling and shouting things I wasn't listening enough to understand. As I stood to make my way to a bathroom, the side door to the barn slammed open, banging off the wall and announcing the presence of the hulking shadowy figure in the doorway.

     My father's steel-toed boots landed heavily with each step as he made his way quickly to me, wrapping me in his bear-like embrace. I don't know when I'd started crying, but the tears rolled swiftly down my cheeks as a large lump formed in my throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe. My chest was heavy, and my arms and legs grew weak as I fell into him, clutching at him desperately. He held me steady and walked me back to my stool as I pressed my face into his shoulder. His familiar scent helped calm me, but it took several minutes before my tears dried and my heart calmed enough to speak.

     "He told me to run." I whispered hoarsely around the lump still in my throat. It took several deep breaths to clear it. My hands were cold against my cheeks when I wiped the tear tracks away as I sniffled and settled on the stool. Dad took the spot next to me and motioned for Brody to bring him a drink. "He told me to run, Dad. I shouldn't have run."

     "Honey, if you hadn't run like he told you to, you both would probably be dead right now." He snagged the beer Brody sent sliding down the bar. "Jared saved your life."

     "That doesn't make me feel any better, Dad! It makes me feel worse. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have even been there in the first place. He would still be alive!" The bottle came down heavily against the bar top and Dad speared me with a look.

     "This is not your fault. Don't you fucking blame yourself for something that has nothing to do with you. You couldn't have changed the outcome other than getting yourself killed, too, and then what a waste it would've been for Jared to even have been there. His job was to keep you safe and that's exactly what he did."

     "Not at the cost of his life!" My stool tumbled noisily to the floor as I stood quickly and angrily grabbed a clear bottle of liquor. Rivulets of the liquid ran down my glass as it spilled over the side in my haste. The burn in my mouth and throat did nothing for my anger and self-hatred, nor my guilt and sadness. Dad watched me silently for a few minutes. He knew words would do nothing at this point.

     "Do you want to tell me what happened?" He'd finished his beer by that point, and I was nursing my fourth or fifth glass – I couldn't remember which.

     "Not much to tell." I muttered bitterly. "They attacked us. I was useless. Jared got shot and now he's dead. End of story." I emptied the glass and reached for the bottle once more, but Dad was quicker and swiped it off the bar, handing it off to someone walking by. I glared at him, but it didn't do any good, so I sighed heavily and rubbed at my sore eyes.

     "I already told Jack what happened. I figured everyone would have been filled in by now." I flicked the empty glass away as I stared at the wood grain of the bar top, lost in my own thoughts. "I had to make a bank drop for Andy. I asked Jared to walk with me because it was only down the street."

     Jared's laugh filled my ears as I pictured us joking around in the bank and on the way back. My eyes twitched on a flinch as the image of Jared getting hit from behind flashed in my mind. I relayed each painful detail to Dad as I watched the scene replay in my head. The cuts on my face stung as if I were being pushed against the bricks again. My pulse quickened as the scene unfolded in the darkness of my closed eyes.