there is || hemmings (sequel to amnesia)

letter 3

jadeeeeeee

guess who

its luke incase you didnt know

ive decided im never going to have the courage to send these to you, so im just going to keep them in a shoe box under my bed. i was going through pictures of us today and i spotted this cute one of izzy and i, ive decided its my favourite photo, apart from the one of me and you when you first found out you were pregnant with her.

isnt our daughter just the most beautiful little person? its weird to say our daughter, our..gets weirder every time i suppose. its strange, everyday she does something new and cute and you always keep me updated with it, and its weirder because shes more your daughter than mine. i mean, i hardly see her and that makes me sad :(

well, we're back soon anyway and i get to see my little girl again and get to squeeze her and hug her and spoil her. i love being a dad, more than i love anything.

you were right, being a dad is awesome. i never normally say youre right, because well, then youd be winning and you know im a sore loser. but honestly, i cant wait until her first christmas and when she starts to take her first steps, you know, im really excited and at first i was scared.. said every first time dad ever.

but seriously ive been thinking again, and honestly, you mean the world to me. not just because of izzy.

because i still love you.

it's apparent, it's obvious i still love you. it's crazy how i still love you, but it's happening and im falling harder for you each and every day. but i know i can't have you anymore, but that isn't the worst part. the worst part is seeing you with ashton and you both being happy, and that's the worst part for me. he's happy and so are you.

and youre happy without me.

its breaking my heart, my best friend, and well, the girl i love and the one who happens to be the mother of my child. its hard to see you so happy with someone else when you should be with me. i dont even feel ad for saying that.

you deserve to be happy, and so do i. and i am happy when im with you, but youre only happy when youre with ashton and its sad. sad for me, heartbreaking for me even.

but hey ho kiddo, sometimes life isn't fair. and good things come to those who wait - hey, maybe you'll even come back to me. i guess i can dream, right?

give my love to izzy, even though she'll never see these lmao

and im giving all of my love to you, because you are my love - i love you and everything about you. stay gorgeous, gorgeous.

luke