Mixed Masala

Chapter 16

"Look, Meera, I ..." Suresh broke off as he accidentally dropped his fork and it clattered onto his plate.

They were seated at a quaint little Italian restaurant, a place Meera had discovered by chance one day about a year ago when she and Sudha had gone into town looking for "something different to eat for a change".

Here it comes, she thought as she looked at his plate of spaghetti and meatballs that he had barely touched. She knew the food was good, so whatever it was that had made him lose his appetite, it definitely wasn't the Bolognese.

"Meera," he tried again. "I know I told you once that I wouldn't pressure you into anything ... and I meant it." He paused, took a deep breath and continued. "I also know that you are very aware of the fact that I like you ... a hell of a lot."

He looked her in the eye then and Meera felt herself blushing involuntarily.

"The thing is," he went on, "You've never actually told me how you feel about me. I know you like me, but beyond that ... " He shrugged and then said, "The fact is, these past few days, not seeing you ... not being able to talk to you as much as I wanted to ... It made me realise that I don't just like you ... " He shrugged, a wry smile on his face. "I realised that I'm crazy in love with you, Meera ... and I don't know what to do anymore."

Meera stared at him, open-mouthed. Whatever she had expected to hear, this wasn't it!

"The last thing I want to do is to ruin the friendship that we have," he continued quickly. "But I truly believe that we are meant to be more than that. I feel like I've found my soul-mate in you, Meera, and I know that you care about me too ... more than you're willing to admit." He lapsed into silence then, waiting for her to respond. When she didn't, he sighed. "Say something."

"I ... I don't know what to say," she said finally, struggling to remain composed as he continued to watch her silently from across the small table,

Suresh smiled weakly and shrugged his shoulders. "Say you love me too."

Meera sat very still, not daring to move a muscle lest she knock over something on the table, or worse, fall off her chair. Suresh looked at her with bated breath but when once again she didn't respond, he started to shake his head slowly and let out a sigh.

"It's okay. I'm sorry," he said.

Meera finally found her voice again. "Please don't say that. It's not you. It's me ... I'm just not ready."

Suresh smiled again, but his eyes betrayed his true emotions. "Do you think you will be ready any time soon?"

Meera shook her head slowly. "I ... I don't know ..." she stammered.

Suresh sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. He remained that way for several minutes. When he finally looked at her again, there was a hardness in his eyes that had not been there before.

"I've met someone," he said abruptly, and Meera suddenly felt a dread wash over her.

"And she's more than ready ... to commit to me," he added.

Meera just stared at him, not quite knowing how to respond.

"Her name is Chitra. She's my friend Nava's sister, the one who went on that Melaka trip with us." He shrugged. "Apparently she's had a crush on me for years. I never knew of course ... and well, I never really noticed her before. I mean, she's my friend's little sister after all."

"So what changed?" Meera asked, her voice hardly a whisper.

Suresh looked at her closely but she averted her eyes and focused on her glass of mineral water instead.