Cruel Intentions | ✓

03 | HEART STRINGS

03
HEART
STRINGS

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       WHENEVER SHE HURT herself, she felt guilty. Not because she had done it, but because she knew he wouldn't like it. Whether it was cigarette burns or her own bite marks, he somehow always knew those marks weren't his.

       But she had to do it.

        Because whenever she saw him kissing on another girl, she wanted to rip her painted skin off.

       Whenever she saw his hands trailing up another girl's thighs, she heard her aching heart crack.

       And when his lips pressed against another girl's neck, she felt sparkling tears slip down her damaged face.

       If he was giving bruises to others, she had to make up for her own, right?

       Oh, how she cried whenever he was with someone else.

       He would watch when she cried. He told her she was pretty when she cried.

       He knew she wouldn't leave him. He somehow knew everything.

       When she wasn't being used by him, alcohol was her favorite pastime. She liked the way it numbed her brain, liked the way it seemed to wash away her scars and made her feel brand new. She spent her sleepless nights carousing till thoughts of him were drowned away.

      But he was an anchor. She could try to use all the alcohol in the world to drown him out, but he would always be there. Rooted inside her brain.

       She was dancing at a club one night when she saw him. God, he was everywhere. He was sitting across the room, eyes already on her as he sipped his drink. Those dark eyes, always watching.

       She felt hands on her waist, hands on her ass, hands on her chest. Hands that weren't his. And as she rolled her hips further into a stranger's body, she held his gaze. She knew she was walking a dangerous line by so wrongfully giving herself to somebody else. But fuck, she wanted him to hurt. Wanted to pull on his heart strings the way he pulled on hers.

       But who else could savor her broken skin like him?

       Suddenly he was next to her, those stranger's hands replaced by his familiar ones. He stood behind her, his hands sliding up to dig into her throat.

       What the fuck are you doing? he growled, lips hovering beside her ear, hands clenching tighter around her neck.

       She inhaled sharply, leaning back into him. Dancing for you. Her hands gripped his shoulder.

       Really, he dragged the word out, like he didn't believe her.

       Of course. Only for you, she said.

       When he finally released her, he didn't see the single tear that leaked out of her eye. He pressed a rough kiss at the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

       They went home together that night. When the door closed behind him, he was on her within a heartbeat, hands rough on her waist, teeth scraping against her ghostly skin.

       But she pushed him away, her veins rushing with alcohol.

       Fuck you, she said.

       Her eyes were leaking for some reason.

       His were completely empty. 

       You're trying to kill me, she said.

       What do you mean? he asked her quietly. He had taken a step back.

       You're trying to kill me! You are! she insisted. You just keep breaking me and-and I'm fucking done with it. I'm going to-

       She screamed and ran to the kitchen. Her hands dug through the drawers till they landed on a knife.

       I'm going to do it, she said as she raised the knife to her bruised neck.

       He took a step forward, eyes flashing under the shadows. Baby, come on...

       God, you're killing me! You can keep fucking all those other girls because I've had enough! I'll do it right now then! I'll end it! she yelled. Is that what you want? Is it?

       No, it's not, he said. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

       Then he was in front of her, slowly taking the knife from her and setting it aside. His arms wrapped around her and she softly beat at his chest, tears streaming down her face.

       Why can't I be the only one? Why do you have to be so cruel? she whispered against his shirt.

       I'm sorry, he said again.

       He held her and they stood together for a few minutes in silence. When she had calmed down, he led her upstairs where he showed her just how cruel he could be.

       Without a fight, her broken heart strings were completely his to play with.