Straight and Rotund

Episode 2

Something was off, what did she mean if I liked it? I had been in bed for close to an hour. Sleep was far from me. I couldn't wrap my head round what she said. I woke up few minutes past 6. Unlike yesterday, Tiana was in bed, sitting up and staring at me.
Has Beverley told Tiana anything?
She must have from the way Tiana is staring at me.
She seemed like someone whose meat was stolen. Her eyes burned and prompted me to say.
"I'm sorry Tiana, it is not what you think."
I tried to snuggle closer and touch her, but she abruptly stood up and made her way out. When she got to the door she turned and said
"Have your bath and get to work,"
Something I know to fear is the scorn of a woman, because you thought her to be weak, she would go to extra miles to deal with you especially when you have been found cheating.
Tiana wouldn't wait for you to commit the act; paying attention to anybody else apart from her is cheating and that she spelt out to me several times. Sluggishly, I got ready my head was filled with chains and chains of pessimistic thoughts.
"Have a nice day Honey.'' She said and handed me packed meal when I was about exiting the house, and that has never happened in forever. I can't remember ever being called Honey. Whenever Tiana was angry it takes at least two days to calm down. She would make me promise not to do that which got her upset again, and make me get her gifts. This time, she's different and it is strange.
I got to the office rather late not because of traffic but because my mind was occupied with something else other than work. I could not bring myself to tell Kofi who insisted on eating my homemade meal why I would not share. A few hours later, I was at the wash basin when Kofi accosted me in the cafeteria.
"Why would you empty your food in the trash can? You know I don't like this Chinese sauce and what not” he wrinkled his nose and pouted his mouth at the sight of the sauce.
"See that food, Kofi, leave it, there is nothing wrong with our delicious Chinese Tuesday" I didn't like the Chinese sauce either but it was safer than Tiana's.
”Was not Tiana who prepared it?" He probed.
”Trust me brother, you're better off not eating it." I said. His shoulders fell in astonishment, he made to say something else but I ignored him, dried my hands and climbed back upstairs.
He was a great guy and one of the most jovial kind. Everyone liked Kofi. He could come up with perfect explanations for anything, that is why he is our best copywriter, but I couldn't just tell him my predicament even though he was my friend.

if I had known that going home was gonna be difficult; I would have packed few changes of clothes and stayed over at my cousin's. But, that would have made it obvious to everybody that there was trouble in Paradise. I wasn't from a wealthy background neither were my extended families. The possibility of me marrying Tiana, a girl who's father was a commissioner was unforeseen. And when it finally happened, it felt like their son was the Bride.
What could be the worst that Tiana would do or her family. I was probably over-reacting. It's time I manned the hell up what did I do? I mean what if I had slept with that her HOT cousin? I mean her cousin.
Why would thinking about her even get me aroused. Yes, she is hot. And she knowingly pathed her thighs and asked if I liked it. If anyone is to blame is Beverly. I can't allow her spoil my name or break my home. I needed to come up with a plan that would make a twaddle of all she's told Tiana.
I got home 28 minutes past 6, rang the doorbell severally, no one answered. Why would they not open? I tried to look through the gap between the curtains, nothing.

"Uma, where's madam?" I asked the security guy.
Albeit his northern accent heavily colored his answer, I managed to deduce that Tiana and Beverly had left the house early in the morning and that they would come back by 7.
It was 23 minutes to 7 now.
There was no mention of that to me. What is going on? I took a look around the compound; Tiana's car hadn't moved an inch; maybe they used a taxi. And I don't have the new key since the old lock was changed.
"Did madam drop any thing with you" I asked.
"No, Oga" he answered
I listened to the stereo while I waited in my car. I was restless partly from not having a shower yet and from the unknown predicament I might be in.
When the time on the dashboard read 08:27. I couldn't stay famished any longer....
"Oga, sorry I just remember, madam geefe me something make I geefe you." I felt like breaking his small head when he thrusted the bunch of keys to me.
I stomped into the house. There I was thinking of the worst that might happen or that has happened and this stupid gateman had the keys with him. The anger or hunger guided my steps.
I opened the door, threw my shirt and vest on a sofa and stomped into the kitchen, I couldn't wait to have my bathe already but I was too famished. In the freezer was a pot of vegetable soup. I scooped a little into a smaller pot and warmed.If this meal was poisoned I will rather be poisoned daily. I ate without caution, had just finished eating the deliciously prepared vegetable soup and fufu.
My torso was still bare, I listened to my stomach for any unusual movements, after a while I was convinced that I was not. Why would Tiana poison in a full pot of soup that anyone could eat? The door bell rang.
"Good evening, Tay"
"Good evening... Beverly" I swallowed heavily while I returned her greeting. Beverly is the real definition of bomb shell. And tonight she looked extra hot from the front and chilli spicy from the back. She walked in clutching her designer handbag and a shirt. She wore a gown which could be mistaken for her skin especially when you landed your eyes on her twin toppings; nipples, big and erect pierced through her grey gown and stared right into my face. She grazed my hairy chest with her breasts as she entered. Her hips swayed arousingly, and my eyes threw away every form of caution and followed without missing a beat.
She turned and faced me.
"She is at the church." My mouth shut rather too late. She put her hand on her hips. "and I d rather have a handsome man stare than their pastor." She thrusted her hips towards me, and looked outside.
"Close the door Uma is staring."
Uma? I turned and saw Uma looking bewildered.
"What are you doing here?" I asked brusquely. The anger from making me wait for almost an hour maybe for watching Beverly Tease laced my question.
"Sorry, Madam, Oga, Oga, one man dey por outside, him wan see am por Oga"
I followed him what's Stanley doing here this late.
Uma let him in.
Stan is the cousin whose place I contemplated going to earlier. He works security in an Oil company. Unlike me who discovered the pleasures of the flesh late due to my parents restrictions, Stan didn't, he explored and got rewarded with two kids before nineteen. He was always the one everybody, his parents warned us against.

"Ol boy this one when you come my house by this time, what's up?"
"Abeg comoot for road," he brushed passed me. "Na your welcome be that?" he chuckled. And climbed up the front porch, and pushed through the door.
"I dey famished gan." He announced as soon as he stepped into the house. I cleared the dishes that I had left on the dinning and made to go have a shower.
'Guy, I dey come make I baff."
"Wetin Una cook? Where is Tiana?" Without waiting for an answer, he stood and made to enter the kitchen.
"Hello!"
"Hello, Beverley." I muttered inaudibly before realizing she was addressing Stanley.
"Hello! He made a U-turn"
"Wow! I am Stan, Taye's cousin." He walked towards Beverly who had walked up and was standing next to me in the corridor, they shook hands.
"Taye, what is an angel doing in the house of a sinner?"
Beverly baited her eyes at me.
"What! I asked and failed to hide my disgust at what he asked."
"I meant a saint." He scoffed"
"I am Tiana's cousin, Beverly"
"Wow, you're stunning girl." He ogled her and kept his eyes on her extruding nipples.
"Excuse me" she freed his hand and walked into the kitchen.
Stan and I watched her gyrating derriere disappear towards the kitchen.
"Bros! that girl no wear anything inside that gown."
I hissed and entered my room.
I had a cold bathe and rejoined them in sitting room. Stan was having a plate of rice while Beverly had a glass of wine and sat next to him at the dinning table. I watched them trade jokes, stories and I was getting pretty pissed.
The last time Stan was here was about two or three months ago, he had borrowed some money to offset some debts and promised to pay back the next month but here he was again, obviously carrying no cash. He is probably going to ask for more money.
Beverly would turn to me at intervals and laugh harder, seemed Stanley's jokes don't get funny till she sees me. My face burned, but I ignored them and kept my eyes on the TV. I had the gate open, and shortly afterwards the door bell chimed.
Tiana was home. Beverly went to the door and opened for Tiana.
'Hello Stan, fancy seeing you."
"Well, you look good. Obviously my cousin is been doing a great job."
"Thanks Stan." She chuckled.
"You are welcome"
"Honey, I have missed you so much." She walked up to me and kissed me fully on the lips for at least twenty seconds and I didn't like that. She dragged me up and made me follow her into the room.
It's sinister the way she is behaving. When did we start kissing in public? I don't get comfortable with onlookers around and that, she is always known. Maybe, it's time I confronted her. I sat on the bed and watched her UnCloth and step into the bathroom. Tiana is the exact image of the kind of woman I had pictured marrying; beautiful, tall, slim with not too big derriere. Someone I could wrap my arm fully around. She is more beautiful than the envisioned one though; she has long black hairs, diamond shaped face, eye brows that reminds you of a rice field when the wind blows, brown eyes, lips; full and luscious. Her legs as straight as her shoulders. I doubt if any models have as much elegance as Tiana has.
"Taye, why have you been staring at me?"
"What?" She was busy with the towel.
"I have been talking to you like for forever."
"I'm sorry love." I didn't know when she came out, and stood in front of me.
"It's just that I am grateful to have someone so beautiful in my life."
She grimaced at what I had said, and reached for a bottle of cream.
"Cut that crap, I don't want to hear it." I was bewildered what is she going to say next?

"Have you eaten?"
"Yes I have." I answered rather impatiently. She is obviously going somewhere. Hold on,have I eaten? Why had Beverley not eaten the soup or even Stanley. Where did Stanley see the rice he ate? When I checked the pots in the kitchen, I did not see any rice.

"What's Stanley doing here?"
"I don't honestly know I would find out later." My mind was racing, was that why the soup was that tasty?
"Okay!"
"I wanted to tell you that I will be traveling to see Mummy on Friday." She applied the cream to her face.
"Why? What's going on?" She rubbed the cream on her long neck.
"Nothing, I just have somethings to discuss with them." Discuss with them? Don't they have a phone call their phone. She screwed the cap of the cream closed and kept in on the dressing table. She reached into the wardrobe and took out her maroon nightie.
My heart had started palpitating. It's either now or never. I have to fall on my knees and apologize. She wore her nightie and, adjusted it till it was perfect on her.
"Tiana," I muttered.
"Tiana! come quickly." Beverly screamed from the sitting room.
"Tiana," I fell on my knees but she had turned away from me and had headed to the door.

I was on my knees for a while; I finally mustered the strength to move to the bed.