Circles

Chapter Forty

         After keeping my distance from Matthew for a week, I knock on his bedroom window. Nicole walks over and opens it.

        “Hey, Alex. Climb on in.”

        I crawl through without help and land on my feet. My ribs are finally healed enough for me to be able to do it, but there is still a little pain involved.

        Matthew is sitting on his bed, but he looks up when I come in. “Hi.”

        I look at him softly. “Are you still mad at me?” I ask quietly.

        “I’ll give you guys some space,” Nicole says as she leaves the room.

        “I’m not mad,” Matthew says once she’s gone. “I’m-”

        “I know, I know,” I say. “You’re disappointed.”

        He looks away. “Could you not mock me right now?”

        “I’m not mocking you. I’m-”

        “Just stop, Alex.” He pauses. “I don’t want to fight. Not with you.”

        “I love you,” I say.

        “I love you, too.”

        I walk over slowly and sit on the edge of his bed, a couple feet away from him.

        “What, you’re afraid to sit next to me now?” he asks.

        “No, I just. I don’t know.”

        “Come here,” he says, and I slide over. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me into him.

        “I went with Liz to see her get a sonogram last week,” I say after a few minutes of silence.

        “Yeah? How was that?”

        “Pretty amazing, actually. You hear about that stuff all the time, but to actually see a baby that small is just incredible.”

        “You want one?” Matthew asks. I look at him with a mix of shock and confusion and he laughs. “Not now, obviously,” he says. “I can just see you as a mom.”

        “Is that a compliment?”

        “I think so,” he says. We laugh.

        “I don’t know, maybe someday,” I say. “I don’t know if I want to bring a kid into this world that I just have to give away at sixteen.”

        “That’s fair,” he allows. “Maybe if you moved to a different city. One where they don’t have Circles.”

        “You can’t leave,” I say. “You’re born here, and you die here.”

        “Yeah,” Matthew says, looking out the window. “I know.”

        “Alex?” Liz asks quietly.

        I sit up in bed. “What are you doing up? It’s two in the morning,” I say sleepily.

        She starts crying. “Cody’s snoring. I can’t sleep!”

        “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I ask.

        “I can’t sleep!” she screams.