in between all things

Chapter Twenty-Four

I watched my leg shake up and down on the bus seat, as Jace's number dialed. I was terrified. I hadn't spoken to the guy I thought I loved in months and now I'm scared of simple phone call? Shouldn't I be overjoyed to talk to Jace?

"Ash?" A voice —Jace — said interrupting my thoughts, picking up the phone.

I said the first thing that came to my head. "The one and only."

"Are you okay? You sound like your shivering." Jace said. I was shivering, but I wasn't cold. I looked out of the window and watched the world pass by me. I shouldn't have called Jace back on the bus or in general. Right? I was so confused right now. Did calling him back mean I forgave him? Because I was far from forgiving him.

"Where have you been Jace?"

I heard Jace breathe in deeply. "I'm sorry."

I laughed, though it was a humourless one. "Your sorry? Really? That's all you have to say?"

"I know, I just, I couldn't have called you back after I left. I didn't know what to say." Jace explained hesitantly.

I scoffed and then caught a glare the lady in front of me, shot my way. I rolled me eyes and turned back to look out the window, this time desperate for any distraction. "I haven't heard from you in months Jace. I didn't even recognise your voice at first."

"Ash—"

"And if you didn't know what to say before, why are you calling me now? Did Trey Carter tell you to call me and give you an idea about what to say?" I continued harshly. A faint feeling of guilt washed over me, but I pushed it away. I had every right to be mad didn't I? Or was I supposed to be worried? I didn't know anything anymore, I felt so out of control.

"Ash. We need to talk. Not on the phone, in person. I'll text you a place. It's your choice of whether or not to come."

I shook my head. "You haven't given me any explanation, but you want to meet up with me?"

Jace sighed. "I told you why—"

"No, Jace! That was an excuse. Do you have any idea what's it's been like? What—"

"Just be at the place, Asher. That is if you want to see me. I have to go." Jace said quickly, interrupting me and hanging up before I had a chance to reply.

I shoved my phone back in my pocket and looked at the seat in front of me, in disbelief. What had just happened? First he disappears and then he wants to meet up? Does he even hear himself talk sometimes?

I clenched my fists and then put my head in my hands. What was I going to do? Should I go? Should I move on? I think I loved him and don't you never give up on the people you love? Wait, my parents gave up on me so maybe all that was bullshit.

"Are you alright, boy?"

I turned my head quickly and my eyes landed on an old man, who had slid into the seat beside me. He looked to be in fairly poor health and he was balding at the top of his head. It was impossible to not feel sorry for him, but still...Why was he sitting next to me? There were plenty empty seats on the bus.

I bit my lip and nodded, turning away. "Yeah I'm good, old man."

The man laughed a rich and happy laugh. Why was he so happy? How could he be so happy? It looked like his life was as shitty as mine. "Your from the South Side right?"

I turned to look back at the man again, confusion clear in my gaze. "How'd you know?"

The man smiled. "Well, you look like your mother. Your a Sage boy right?."

I was still in shock and I was sure my expression illustrated that perfectly, but still, I nodded at the man.  "You know my mum?"

"Yes, she works with me."

"You work?" I said, wide eyed. The guy looked like he could barley even stand.

The old man smiled again and nodded. "I manage, to be specific."

I nodded my head, even though nothing seemed to make sense or that might of been just me. "Okay."

"Your mother talks about her twins a lot. Says one's interesting and the other's predictable. Andrew and Asher, right? Which one are you?"

"She was probably talking highly about Drew." I explained, monotoned.

The old man placed a hand on my shoulder. "You seem okay about that?"

"I'm use to it. You know? Drew's predictable and I'm—" I said, but discontinued my sentence when I realised that this was my stop. I flung my school bag over my shoulder and went into the isle. As I was about to get off the bus, I turned back around and faced the old man. I put one hand up and whispered, "Cya." The guy smiled and waved back.

That was weird, yet it was okay. I'm not making any sense, I thought as I walked up the road towards school. When the old guy said that mum talked about Drew and I, he probably meant before what happened months ago. School was getting closer and I saw Delilah standing by the side of a building, headphones in and gaze forward, until she saw me.

"Hi." Delilah said as she reached me. We continued to walk into school and towards the senior hallway. "How was hell?"

"Hell." I said flatly. "How was sitting in your room lonely?"

Delilah glared at me and shoved me. "I'm leaving, I'm late. Your an ass."

Delilah started walking away and for a small moment I thought she was actually aggravated, but then through the crowd she turned her head and smiled at me. I shook my head at her and checked the time, I was late too. I quickly shuffled off to Maths Class and settled in a chair. Just as the teacher came into the room my phone buzzed:

From: Jace the sort of cute asshole

Meet me at Rikers, if you want. I miss you.

I blinked at the message. Jace missed me. Maybe everything would be okay after all? I didn't even know if I was going to go anyways.

I groaned and banged my head on the desk. Today was going to be hell, deciding what to do.