Rowan Nightshade's Short Stories

The True Story of the Nyan Cat

So, you know the annoying pop-tart/cat/flying-through-space/thing on Youtube called the Nyan Cat? Well, right here, right now, I will reveal the truth about the Nyan Cat.

First of all, if you haven't seen the video, go right now to this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH2-TGUlwu4

Second of all, I'm sorry you had to watch that, or if you already have watched it, and I sincerely hope you did not get brain-damage.

Third of all, no matter how weird this seems, this is what really happened to the poor mutation known as the Nyan Cat.

So, the Nyan Cat, who used to be know as Nimrod, was a normal, fat, stupid housecat. Once, his owner threw a pop-tart away. Nimrod dug through the landfill for about 2 months, trying to obtain it. While he burrowed, the chemicals in the landfill leeched into his body, so whenever he farted, it was a beautiful rainbow. About a month into his search, he perfected his farting so he could fly!

One day, on December 21st, Nimrod was flying, when he saw the pop-tart! It was resting on a pile of diapers, and it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He descended upon it, his eyes wide with adoration.

In one bite, he gobbled it up, then lay down to rest.

While he was sleeping, the pop-tart did it's subtle work. Slowly, it consumed his body, growing on to him, becoming a yummy tumor.

When he woke up, Nimrod was so happy that he burst into song, and farted the biggest fart he had ever farted, causing the Apocalypse to begin. Any humans within a mile radius around him were instantly turned into zombies, horses were turned into unicorns, and any lizards were turned into dragons.

He shot up into the sky, passing into space, and spent the rest of his days flying, eating himself, farting rainbows, and singing.

And this was the real story of the Nyan Cat.