Love and Pride

Pride, Love and First Impressions Part 5

Ayhan

Two years later

I watched Sanem dance with her husband in the garden of their house under a canopy of fairy lights. Although dancing was maybe the wrong word for what they were doing. It was more of swaying and gazing into each other's eyes and while it sounded innocent, watching it live was almost deserving of a not safe for work warning.

"Get a room!" I shouted. Sanem rolled her eyes and Can winked at me. They continued their eye fucking as if they didn't have a house full of close friends and family celebrating their anniversary but anyone who had spent more than an hour in their company was used to their blush-inducing interactions.

I adjusted my vintage fire engine red halter dress and got a glass of wine. Bulut, my ever-present bodyguard had the night off but I foolishly hoped his boss would make an appearance. I still needed protection because even though my ex was in prison, he wouldn't be for much longer and now I had the added cache of being an heiress. My biological father had been thoughtful enough to leave me his entire fortune when he kicked the bucket even though we'd only met once and he never acknowledged me as his. But mostly, I admitted to myself, I needed protection because it was the only excuse I had to remain close to a certain bodyguard.

A familiar head of hair appeared in the crowd and ended that train of thought. My stupid heart leaped at the sight of him even though he was the source of all its bumps and bruises.

After that day in my kitchen, he made sure to never be alone with me. I decided then that I was no masochist and became determined to tear him out of my heart once and for all. But every time I made any progress he would undo it by doing something annoyingly sweet and thoughtful like attending my graduation but standing far in the back so I wouldn't see him. He still came down to my place every weekend to take Bulut's place even though I knew he could have easily sent someone else. I lost count of the times I'd caught him staring at me with those soulful eyes whenever he thought I wasn't looking. And my heart was completely helpless against the fact that he carried dog treats in his pockets for Colin Firth even though I knew he hated having things in his pocket. It was a small stream of thoughtful actions that eventually turned into a waterfall of devotion that silently showed me how much he cared. But I kept my feelings to myself. I would not inflict myself on him again when it was clear that it was the last thing he wanted.

But tonight I was done with pining. Done with unrequited love. I finally decided that I needed a clean break because existing like this was not healthy. I had to move on. I was going to leave and remove myself from temptation and so after a lot of soul searching I made the decision to finish my education overseas. It was a self-preservation move and not a necessary one.

I set my drink down and made my way toward him, unable to stay away. I stopped in my tracks when I came closer and saw that there was a very beautiful woman hanging on his arm. Maybe I wouldn't have to tear him out of my heart. Maybe he was going to do it for me. I pasted a bright smile on my face and walked right up to them.

"Hello," I greeted them. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Ayhan."

"Gamze," she said smiling prettily.

I looked at Osman and the jerk refused to meet my eyes. Gamze was apparently no fool and sensed the shift in the atmosphere because the friendly smile melted and she pressed herself to his side. I ignored the knife-like pain in my heart and smiled brighter.

"Osman never mentioned having a girlfriend. Have you been dating long?"

She was everything I wasn't. Tall, slim, with legs that seemed to go on forever. I had never been anything but confident in myself but in that instant, I felt like a troll. Tears sprung in my eyes and I quickly blinked them away. I was aware of his eyes boring into me but I refused to meet his gaze.