Thoughts, ramblings and contemplations

The Dream

I have this reoccurring nightmare that I wake up in the morning and open my eyes inside the womb of a mortal mother. I am born and raised and live through a tedious period in which I constantly struggle to reach my potential. And in the moment I am nearly strong enough and get so close that it almost feels real my power deteriorates again and I wither away over a seemingly endless stretch until I finally fade out of the fragile grip of the deposed shell that imprisoned me. A glimpse of hope, a flicker of eternal realms, a dim blink of realisation. So close to recognising my reflection in the vast mirror of the ocean with no surface. As I open my mouth to finally inhale freedom and taste the sweet dew of a morning forevermore, I swallow the salty fluid of yet another mothers womb. Another unbearable life to live, another stretched forgetting. Another summit to climb to fall into the valley on the other side. Another comforting last breath, another passing through the all-suffocating embrace of silence and it begins anew. How many lives have I lived and forgotten? How many more have I to endure? How many faces have I yet to wear, how many mothers have I got left to suck dry? I crave to breathe. I beg for deliverance from this torment. How often do I need to long for saturation and be denied to watch my decline in limitless boredom and disgust? Please break the cycle. Loosen the chains that bind me! I have a reoccurring dream of falling asleep and never have to wake up in this instance of rotting flesh. I have a dream of washing the mud from my mind. I almost remember the smell of eternity... almost remember my name... almost...