A Lost Fight

My vision is clouded and heart heavy as a stone,

The world is crowded still I feel alone.

This pain is too much I can't bear it,

For once I want someone to at least hear it.

You're no superman can't see what's inside,

Since forever and ever all I do is hide.

My heart my dear has empty slots,

And my soul is full of Dalmatian spots.

It is so difficult to breath that my lungs burn,

Please remove this suffering, it's all I yearn.

I tried to handle it, fight it to survive,

But now I wonder if I'll make it out alive.

All you see is a beautiful smiling face,

Beneath it lays the true, ugly dark space.

I am tired of hurting myself again and again,

An attempt to even out inner and outer pain.

I can't find no cure, no path to follow,

Can't find nothing but numbness and hollow.

The true me is long gone probably dead,

Or it might be hanging on by a thread.

I am running away from my darkest thoughts,

My deepest wounds and dried blood spots.

Please make it go I can't take no more,

I am so entangled and my limbs are sore.

With every single heart beat I am losing the fight,

I wonder if I will survive through the night.

I am losing my conscious but the persisting ache,

My body is paralysed like death grip of a snake.

My mind is now clean, deprived of any dirt,

But oh my dear, why does it still hurt?

I am stuck here in a dark meadow,

No one to talk to but hear my words echo.

All I wanted was a hand to hold,

To save me from this dreadful cold.

I never asked for shining armour of a knight,

But someone to listen and hold me tight.

I always wished to love you and call you my own,

But now I wonder if you'll miss me when I'm gone.

There won't be no Ifs, no BUTs, no WHYs

I won't bother you, now that I've closed my eyes.