Wasting Away

Chapter 3; 136 pounds

tap tap tap tap tap tap

"Will you stop that?"

My brother is staring at me from across the table with an annoyed look on his face.

"Sorry." I mumble back not really in the moon to fight with him today.

My brother and I never really get along. We are constantly nagging and doing things to piss each other off. To be completely honest he drives me crazy but in the end he is my brother and I still love him.

"What's wrong with you?" His eyes look less annoyed now and more concerned.

Although we don't get along, he still knows me better than anyone.

"Nothing." I shrug and purse my lips together.

From that response I get a long drawn out sigh, "Come Tully, I'm not stupid. You only purse your lips when your thinking about something that upsets you."

I look up at him from under my lashes. I really hate it when he is right, especially since I'm older than him.

"Von it's nothing, really."

By now the annoyed look has come back but as he is about to say something else we hear keys unlock the front door.

Mom's home.

He looks at me with a look that says we will talk later. I shake my head and ignore him and then slump down into my chair and continue with my chemistry assignment.

"Hey guys." My mom's voice rings through the hallway.

I can hear her heals hit the hardwood floor with every step, each one getting louder and louder as she gets closer to the dinning room.

She enters, throwing her keys onto the table and plopping down into a chair.

She huffs loudly, "You guys have a rough day to?" She says noticing the silent room.

I shrug as my brother answers, "Nope, I found out I made the soccer team." He beams.

He's always been the star child. He has always gotten good grades and plays every sport. I used to be like that, but not anymore. Well my grades are still good but as far as sports go I don't play anymore.

"That's fantastic Von." My mother smiled at him."What about you Tully? How was your day?"

I give her a half smile, "Fine I guess, same old stuff."

She gives a small smile, nodding slightly.

"Well is there anything you want for dinner?" She asked, leaning up in her chair and taking her heals off.

"I'm not really hungry, I think I'm going to go take a shower." I place both hands on the arm rests of my chair and haul myself up.

"You haven't really been eating a lot Tully. Are you feeling okay?" My mother askes me, her eyebrows pulled together in concern.

No matter what it came to I would never tell my mom that I wasn't eating. That's just another problem to add to her plate.

"Yeah I'm fine." I quickly dismiss her worries and walk upstairs.

Once I'm in my room I lean against the door and take a deep breath.

I feel so tired. I could almost fall asleep standing up.

I turn my head slightly and glance in the mirror.

My pudgy arms are showing through my t-shirt and my thighs seem larger than normal.

I close my eyes not wanting to look at myself any longer.

I leave my room and enter my bathroom, lifting my shirt over my head and staring the shower.

Once it's warm I undress and step in hoping the shower will relax me. Unfortunately as the warm water cascades over my body all I can think about is very fat part of me that is sticking out right now.

I plug my ears and stand under that water, listening to the sound of rushing water on top of my head. Letting it drown out my thoughts.

I stay in there for almost an hour. I would have stayed longer if my brother hadn't been pounding on the door.

Wrapping a towel around me I let him in to brush his teeth and turn to stand on the scale.

136.

I let out a loud huff causing my brother to look back at me with confused look. 

I shake my head at him and leave the bathroom.

That night as I lay in bed, I spend a great deal of time pinching pieces of my fat.

Thinking about my body has become some sort of obsession and it's only been a weeks.

I try to go to sleep, tightly closing my eyes and willing myself into dream land.

____

sorry its short

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