Close Your Eyes, Remember Me (TBF Book 1)

Lucia

It was a lie. Not a great big festering lie but a fib all the same.

Some tufty chunks of memories had come back, fluttering into her mind with a deja vu feeling of recognition. Mostly voices. Her own, snide and biting.

Lucia didn't like what she heard.

Why was the distant, fuzzy version of herself so spiteful? If she described what had leaked back into her brain so far to Elijah what on Earth would he think of her? Or worse, what if he confirmed that she spoke to him like that?

She pushed those horrible snippets of audio down, cramming them to the back of her mind until she had the context to process them. The last time she could remember speaking like that to anyone was to a school bully picking on some younger kid on the playground.

She didn't want to dwell on scenes she could barely remember, she was still trying to digest their trip to the library. Ever since she was plopped back into bed and left with Sariyah she had replayed it moment by moment in her head. The stunning room filled with books from floor to ceiling like something out of her dreams, Elijah climbing the ladder and leaning over her to hand her the book she wanted...

And that kiss, oh, that kiss.

Did it still count as her first if she couldn't remember any kisses before it?

She didn't know how to find a single word in her mind to describe it, he was gentle but so hungry for her, as though he was desperately holding himself back. It was an infectious feeling.

When he pushed her back with his hips and she felt the rungs of the ladder dig into her spine she didn't even notice any pain from her bruising, her mind completely preoccupied with the pulsing of her heartbeat between her legs. The lump on the back of her head gave her no bother even when his fingers were sliding through her hair. Every touch sucked her in deeper until she had forgotten everything but him.

Was it always like that? Because if it was she definitely understood why she was marrying him!

It certainly hadn't been like that when she first woke up, he had been sinfully shy with her all week aside from some timid locked fingers. But she liked the change, she wanted more.

She missed his touch already. He had vanished so suddenly, mumbling something about 'getting something to eat'. She never got to see him eat his meals, he always disappeared when he got hungry and ate in private. Maybe he was self-conscious... Lucia knew she felt awkward when she was served her meals and her betrothed and his cousin sat in silence reading their books, the only sound in the room coming from her mouth as she chewed.

"What's on your mind, kid?" Sariyah asked as she lounged across her chair like a lazy lioness.

Lucia pressed her lips together for a few seconds before answering, "Nothing."

"You've been red-faced and squirmy since you came back from your tour." It was said light-heartedly but Lucia's face still grew hotter with embarrassment. "Did something happen?"

"Kind of." She mumbled.

Sariyah sat to attention with a sly grin, "Ooh, was it a saucy something?" she asked, not attempting to contain her nosiness in the slightest.

"I guess..." Lucia pulled the blankets up higher on her chest as she grew more and more self-conscious until she finally managed to sputter, "We kissed."

"Romantic!" Sariyah cooed with a grin. "How was it?"

Lucia let out a pathetic, maiden-like sigh, "Amazing."

"Oh?"

"I feel so embarrassed saying this but he's a very good kisser."

"Really?"