The Dog Days of Summer

3

I'm 17 now.

My face was clearing up, my grades were getting better. I think I was becoming a little prettier too.

I know things didn't end well between Soflo and I, but it was an experience I'm never going to forget. All the laughs we shared and the risks we took. I'll thank him for the good times. He was a great lesson.

I don't regret showing him love, he really needed it. I hope I showed him what it felt like to be appreciated. I hope I taught him something, anything.

After Soflo and I broke up, I didn't really have anyone to hang out with because I dedicated all my time to him. There were also a lot of people who didn't like me after what I did over the summer.

I would get dropped off at my friends' house and leave to meet up with Soflo.

I didn't have friends anymore. So I sat in a teacher's classroom and watched youtube as I ate my lunch. I watched Fortnite clips and crab boil mukbangs.

And there was a boy there who would sometimes stay too.

He started talking to me. He played basketball, had a cheerleader girlfriend.

Then we started texting. We just talked about life and school and then we played 21 questions and asked each other personal things. Dirty things.

He asked me if I was a virgin. I said yes and he didn't believe me.

I don't think anyone in high school would've believed me considering I had talked to so many boys. But that was the truth. He said he wasn't anymore, that he had experience and he could show me.

I started to like him. He became my only friend.

We Facetimed when we could, texted, hugged. He came to my soccer game once, I went to his basketball games multiple times. I discreetly competed with his girlfriend, seeing who could cheer him on the loudest, I in the bleachers and she along the sidelines in her uniform. Two of his fans chanting, or maybe there were more within the crowd and neither of us knew it.

I would see him in the hallways walking with his girlfriend and he would look at me, maybe out of admiration, maybe out of fear. That same day we would go to the bathroom during class and share an embrace. He would whisper my name and wave for me to come to a small corner of the hallway.

I never kissed him. I wanted to.

We sent each other pictures, videos. We talked about actually doing it. He said he was scared to be my first. I told him I wanted him to be.

I guess I was just feeling bold. And not one drop of guilt pained me. I know, I sound like a bad person. I think I am.

I should've known better. I wouldn't want my boyfriend doing anything behind my back.

But it was just so much fun. The only thing that scared me was walking around school knowing that he saw all of me and I saw all of him. It was just a matter of time of who would brag about it first.

I started fantasizing of being with him, I looked forward to everyday. I would sit by my phone everyday, waiting for a text, for a call. Prior to meeting him, I didn't take notice that we had classes together and then I started to pay more attention to him than our teacher.

And I wondered, how many other girls was he doing this with? How many "best friend contracts" did he already have?

He knew what he was doing, he knew it was wrong. But he was still consistent.

It was all fun and games, no strings attached. He started calling me pet names, started getting jealous when I talked to other boys.

We weren't suppose to be anything else but flirt buddies, but I wondered what he thought of me and what he felt towards me. I wondered if there was something more.

He and his girlfriend broke up within the preceding weeks of us fooling around, a year and two months down the drain. Not because of me, but because of another girl who didn't fall for his charms.

I wanted to be there for him so he could realize that maybe I am the one, telling him everything was going to be okay as I justified all his wrongdoings. Let me pop a tit, see if that'll make you feel better.

But I'm no skinny cheerleader. Just a brown, plump soccer player.

Our fling came to an end. I didn't even qualify as a rebound. They had gotten back together for the millionth time and that was that.

I saw him in the hall, with his bathroom lanyard and he was looking down at his phone. I smiled, wanting to talk to him. I giggled at the thought of such coincidence and I made my way toward him.

A girl appeared, walking up the steps with her classroom bathroom pass and he whispered her name.

Is this my replacement?

Lesson 16: Don't be a home wrecker.