R + E

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    For Eddie, life was suddenly bleak.

    This time, it was Richie's own parents, instead of Sonia herself. It was their choice to move. They'd seen how glum Richie constantly was, and thought changing schools might benefit him, despite his constant protests. Richie didn't go down without a fight, though, there was a war in the Tozier household after Maggie announced to Richie they would be moving. Things were thrown, cuss words were yelled, but in the end the Tozier parents never changed their mind. Poor Eddie was left all alone in 8th grade.

    Stan and Bill had got together a little bit after Richie moved. Eddie rolled his eyes in annoyance every time they flirted with each other, pretending to just be disgusted, but deep inside he knew he wasn't disgusted. He was jealous. Not of Bill, not of Stan, but because of the fact that Eddie could've had something like that. Eddie could've had something like that with Richie.

    Not that Eddie thought it would really happen if Richie hadn't moved away. He knew they would still be friends, maybe beating around the bush a little, but he knew Richie. If he did like Eddie, he wouldn't have the confidence to ask him out, despite his act. So what was Eddie even hoping for this whole time?

    "Well, I think it's good that he moved!" Sonia snapped, her fat, red face trembling in anger. "That boy is out of your life and you never have to think of him again. So don't mention him in this house!"

    Eddie was sitting in the cafeteria, thinking of that moment. That was what his mother said to him after he told her that Richie would be moving. His nostrils flared, angry at her for even thinking such a thing. Richie was his best friend, and now his mother had taken all that away... if he were as crazy as Henry Bowers was, he would've killed her for it. Luckily Eddie was not.

    Although, he was crazy enough to get an idea. Eddie wanted to go back to the attic, where they last saw each other. It would be terrible, seeing that place again and thinking of the words that were said as they both sat there... but Eddie thought it would be a good way to get it out. He could scream and cry in that room and nobody would be around to hear. Another hope Eddie had was to just get it out of his system- if he went back to the place it happened, maybe he would stop thinking about Richie entirely. A stretch, sure, but Eddie would do anything at this point to either have Richie back or forget him completely. He knew it was a little harsh, but again, he was desperate and Richie being gone was tormenting him.

    Eddie reached into his pocket and ran his thumb along the ridges of the key Richie gave it to him that day. He said that he didn't have a use for it anymore, so he should give it to someone who might. Eddie stood up, looking around swiftly.

    A lunch lady was standing nearby, wiping down a table some of his classmates recently abandoned. "Hey, can I go to the bathroom?" Eddie asked, glancing over at Bill and Stan, who were smiling at each other.

    "Go ahead, hun," she said absently, busying herself with cleaning. Eddie nodded and walked out of the lunchroom and into the hall, staring down at his shoes as he walked. Richie spilled diet Coke on my shoes once, he thought glumly, and wanted to burst into tears.

    He kept his composure and continued walking, passing the bathrooms he was supposed to be going to, but not daring to make eye contact with the teachers as they walked past him. Just the look in Eddie's eye could give off the vibe he was doing something wrong.

    He got to the drama room and started heaving, snatching his inhaler from his pocket and puffing on it. Every time he came here he knew something bad would happen. Nothing would go wrong this time, would it? Richie was gone. Eddie was just here to have a quick cry, get some closure...

    He pushed the key into the lock and looked around, paranoid, before stepping inside and shutting the door carefully behind him. Eddie wished he had a flashlight or something, because when the blinds were pulled down it was impossible to see. He could end up stumbling over a chair, running into a wall, pushing over a prop, tons of things. Eddie didn't want to make a loud noise and have a neighboring classroom check in on him, because that was the drama teachers free break and there weren't supposed to be any kids in empty classrooms without permission. It got to him again, the feeling he'd done something so bad and so terribly wrong, but he didn't get in trouble the last couple times he did it, so why would that change?

    Because he's not with me. He knows how to keep me out of trouble.

    Even if it means taking the blame himself.

    Ugh, shut up, Eddie told himself, propping his foot up on the first rung of the ladder and beginning to climb up into the attic. Then he had another thought. No. I'm here to be sentimental. To remember him, so get it out of your system.

    Once he reached the top of the ladder, I love him. And as he pulled himself up and stepped into the attic, Oh god, he said he was coming back for me after high school but what if he doesn't?

    Eddie stepped into the smaller, hidden room, inhaling slowly. He looked down and saw a folded piece of notebook paper where they both sat the first time Richie invited him here.

    He picked it up and turned around in place, now facing the door to said hidden room. The note read:

Eds,
    So you came back here? I wish I could be here with you, I really do. But I want you to know one thing.

    I moved to Pennsylvania because I love you. I know that we could've talked more in this room, I know I could've told you. If you're disgusted right now I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I was such a burden, I know you said it was okay but it wasn't. I'm gone now. Hope that makes you feel better

    Eddie's tears ran down the paper as he let it drop to the ground, he was in shock once again. Richie thought he was a fucking burden? Richie loved him? Richie moved BECAUSE OF HIM?
   
    So Richie lied to him, lied to him about throwing things and making a big ruckus at home. Eddie was angry, so fucking angry. Richie was an idiot in so many ways, but in the end he loved him and couldn't stay mad. Eddie sat on the ground, shaking his head in denial as he hid his face behind his hands. He screamed, cried, sobbed, pulled at his hair, puffed his aspirator.

    The sobs came to a sudden stop and Eddie looked up. He saw something carved into the wood on the wall, sniffling and moving closer to get a better look.

    R + E

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