Chosen

Chapter 15

This time, I bring my own flashlight to the cave-in so I don't have to wait for West. I'm so tired I wasn't sure I should even come, but curiosity and something I can't—or won't—name overpowered rational thought, and I found myself sneaking through the halls of the compound after lights out on our work cycle's half-day.

With all the difficult training from Norman, wordless pressure from my father, and Jay still not speaking to me, seeing West has quickly become the best part of my day. On days that I get to see him, that is. We haven't spoken in public since his first invitation to meet, but we somehow manage to convey what we're thinking with a single look across a crowded room. While those are nice, they fall far short of having a real conversation. These nights where we can actually talk have become precious to me. If I'm honest with myself, they're one of the only things keeping me going.

Finally, West comes around the corner, almost a half-hour after I expected him. My heart flutters, and I catch him looking at me in amusement even as I try to get my heartbeat back to a normal pace. "You could have told me you were bringing your own light. I was waiting for you," he complains as he plops down on the blanket.

"Well I could have, if we were allowed to behave like normal friends in public," I challenge. "You haven't spoken to me out in the community for a couple weeks now."

He winces, then looks at me apologetically. "Sorry. I just...don't know how to be around you when other people are watching. I mean, I want to. But part of me still feels like we shouldn't."

He wants to be around me? I like the sound of that. I also like that he refers to us as a we. "This is new to me too, you know. Getting to know someone. We could always figure it out together instead of separating ourselves from each other and dealing with it alone." I sigh, ready for him to say no. It's frustrating that we seem to always come back to this point.

To my surprise, West seems to agree. "I know. I want to say that I'm willing to try. But it's still risky," he adds.

"You know, you're really obsessed with this whole idea of risk." I say. He normally gets all prickly when I challenge him, but I can't help it, even though I know I shouldn't push my luck. "You should really try to step out of your comfort zone once in awhile. You never know what opportunities might come your way. I should know."

West looks deep into my eyes, searching. "Yes, I suppose you would know."

My breath hitches. His eyes bore into mine. What's happening here?

Finally, West breaks eye contact and shakes his head. "Okay, I'll try not to bring up how risky this is anymore," he surrenders. I smile brightly. "I'm willing to try this—whatever this is—out in public just as long as you know that it is and will always be a risk."

"Uhh, you just brought it up again," I joke.

"My bad," I'm rewarded with one of his little half-smiles.

"So...we can acknowledge each other when we pass by in public now?" I ask, hardly daring to believe it.

"Yes. We could eat together too. If you want, I mean," he flushes a little, but looks at me steadily.

I feel ten times lighter. The thought of being able to see West and talk to him outside of this cave is exciting...and a little frightening. But in a good way.

"So, I believe it's my turn," I abruptly change the subject, eager to learn more about him.

West sighs and rolls his eyes. "Ask away," he leans back on his hands, looking the most relaxed I've ever seen him.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" I blurt out. What? I'd been intending to ask him something bigger to match his heavy questions for me, like what his aspirations are, and that's what come out of my mouth? I'm slightly horrified but manage to keep my gaze on him and wait for his answer.