Descend into Darkness (BOOK 1)

| 19 | Thirst

I stared up at the ceiling for the longest time, blinking away the drowsiness that tried to lull me to sleep. 

I contemplated whether or not to get out of bed. Did I really have to? I was much more comfortable there, and my exhaustion weighed down my eyelids. My limbs felt heavy, and every motion drew a sigh from my lips. It had never been so difficult to wake up, until that day.

I counted to five, then pushed myself up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. My room had become a safe haven from everything outside the door. There seemed to be no end to the drama and the danger, but I knew I had to push on.

I completed the morning health screenings and sucked away, absent-minded, at the blood packet reward. Their conditioning of my behaviour felt demeaning, but there was little I could do about it. 

The sound of my footsteps gave life to the silent hallways. The lounge and bar area was empty. It was comforting with no one else around, and I wondered if that meant that I was the only vampire there who could withstand sunlight, the only one who had been turned by Carden.

I pushed through the glass door and burst into a figure of light. The white roses I had never noticed, unmoving in the corner, reminded me of the stranger I had met the other day. There was no time to reflect, however, as I sensed another presence near the fountain. 

The breeze shifted and I caught a whiff of a familiar scent. My heart clenched. It was him after all.

Evander sat on the far end of the bench, staring at the glass ceiling. I remembered the fury in his eyes, that day. The way his tone struck me violently like a whip. 

I felt ashamed and subdued. Despite my discomfort, I walked forward and stood before him. He snapped out of his trance and smiled softly, looking down at my feet.

   "Kelsey, I..." He cleared his throat. "I want to apologise for the way I behaved that day. I know this apology should have come a lot sooner, but there were a lot of things I needed to think about..."

   "I'm not his ally." My fists tightened.

   "I know that now, I just--"

   "You asked me why the most monstrous vampire in the world would save me, and I can tell you now that he didn't. After he killed my father, and someone I... could have grown to love, he killed me. So no, I'm not anything to him. I'm just someone trying to survive and come to terms with it all."

The word had come spilling out so fast that I could barely keep up. Anger overcome sadness, and I couldn't even shed a tear, in that moment. How many times did I need to prove my innocence? How many times would I be labeled a villain, having been the victim? 

The guilt on Evander's face was apparent, but my rage burnt out all sympathy. I hated feeling trapped. I hated feeling vulnerable. I hated the stares and the murmurs and the uncertainty. My body trembled and my breaths quickened. 

Suddenly, arms wrapped around my shoulders in a tight embrace. I collapsed like a porcelain doll. Tears flowed down my face. I screamed and wailed like a child. My hands clutched at this shirt and I burrowed my head into his chest. 

The pain I had sealed off came in waves, each one greater than the last. Evander rubbed my back and stroked my head, but somehow it made me feel worse.

Why did they have to die?

Why did he bring me back to life?

It's not fair.

I cried until my throat was dry, and the heaviness in my chest subsided. I realised that had been the first time I allowed myself to grieve for the things taken away from me. I wiped my face with my collar.