Man Or Monster

Love And War

Our relationship was chaos.

Perfect chaos. I didn't know there was such a thing until I met my mates. I relationship was complicated and messy, confusing and indecisive, but we love each other and that makes it worth it.

We all slept in the same bed yet we weren't officially a couple. I held Ryker close every night, yet I never kissed him or showed any verbal affection. Keagan loved us both while still trying to mend Ryker's and I relationship back together. We cared for each other with soft touches and had passionate nights but wouldn't dare speak of it.

I tried to push Ryker away even though I held him close all night. Ryker tried to respect my choices and only confused himself. The more we tried to push each other away the closer we seemed to get. All while Keagan was trying to care for us both while we played a losing game of love. You know how they say make love not war, well we make both.

Tempest once told me that love was the strongest emotion. No matter what else we felt love always won. Now love can be twisted, but it is and always will be the strongest. He had insisted that. Tempest said that since love was the strongest thing you could use it to do and make the most amazing things.

Like when you go to a restaurant with master chefs, but the food still doesn't taste as good as your moms. They say it's made with love, maybe just maybe that's true.

Because I know that if we didn't love each other like we did we wouldn't be able to make it through this. We managed to get angry at each other to the max, but in the end we loved each other more. Ryker and I were our greatest enemies, fighting a battle against each other that we couldn't win. We helped each other by showing love but refusing to admit it.

Each time I ignored Ryker and tried to pretend not to care I just ended up holding him closer at night. It was a useless fight I continued to force myself to take part in, but I loved him and that's why I must do this.

But no matter how hard I tried it was a never winning battle. Me trying to push Ryker away hurts me more than it could ever hurt him. I'm my own greatest enemy and I'm not even sure why.

My resolve and constraint is unraveling rapidly. My sense is on vacation and my reasoning has run off with Ryker somewhere. Now it's just his beautiful face and my vain attempts at pushing it away.

Poor Keagan is trying to make things less fucked up and adapt to a new world. I had to teach him what a phone was last Tuesday, and he almost had a heart attack when he got in my car.

So to sum this up, it's chaos. Beautiful chaos. The kinda chaos I would never give up but still pisted me off. Then again it's me we're talking about.

At this point I'm exhausted with it. With everything. I have been running around all week, doing Forsaken work, getting Keagan set up here and teaching him what a microwave is, trying to not fuck Ryker's brains out. I wouldn't give it up for the world, but that doesn't make it easy but still, my mates help.

There's nothing I can't do while at there side. No matter what we do we do it together.

I was laying on our bed staring at the ceiling, finally escaping a lecture about not tracking blood in the house from my mother. My family apologized for their behavior and said they were just surprised. Also apparently Tempest was behind me doing some pretty fucked up things with his powers.

If you wanna see horrified you should see my mothers face when she sees that there is blood on her floor.

Suddenly the door was opening and Ryker was walking in. I didn't look up afraid that the sliver of self control I had would yeet itself out the window.