24. UnBinding

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She was staring out of the window, fiddling with her shard of glass when I awoke

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She was staring out of the window, fiddling with her shard of glass when I awoke. Through squinted eyes I frowned at her a moment before she turned upwards and backwards to look at me. Her face was blank.

"Good morning." I said.

She nodded and turned back to the window.

I turned to my side, where Fraed slept and was still sleeping. His closed eyes were covered by the deep brown mop that was his hair, and drool crusted up the corner of his mouth. I smiled down at him. I think I liked Fraed. If things were different, maybe I would be able to call him my friend without feeling sick.

Nestled on the bed that Jarelis had been sleeping in was Osvik. I think I liked him best when he was asleep. I don't know if I could call him a friend exactly, but I wasn't terrified of him. Not that I ever was.

And then there was Jarelis, and all of the things I felt about her.

I lifted my arms above my head, stretching, and the dokkt stjorn skidded across my skin. I remembered that if I really wanted to, I could make all this go away. I realized that I wouldn't be able to get out of this, even if I had unlocked the dokkt stjorn at last because I didn't want that at all.

I also didn't want to die. But I didn't want Elke to die either, and that was the price of my breath, wasn't it? I remembered how she had looked the last time I saw her. She'd been so scared. Maybe, at last, I could take that fear away from one of the people my father hurt. I could do that, couldn't I? For just one of them?

But I was still here, still present, still in first person, which was strange. My consciousness usually drifted when I had to do the hard things, and this was definitely the hardest thing I'd ever have to do.

I climbed out of the bed and stumbled over to where Jarelis stood. My eyes began to focus on the object out on the horizon. "We're here, aren't we?" I asked.

Jarelis nodded, but she didn't say anything.

"Oh. Okay." My heart thudded in my chest and my hands began to shake and I was not going to cry right now. It would make all of it worse. I took a step back and steadied myself on the edge of the bed.

It was good while it lasted.

It was good while it lasted

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