Helpless

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Mikasa stayed still in your grasp. Floch was able to continue.

"When I found the commander alive, I was about to finish him off."
Your eyes snapped over to Levi immediately. He seemed to realize what he said too. You really didn't want to deal with two Ackermans, but if push came to shove, you would.

"But... that's going too easy on him."
Everyone listened carefully to Floch's words.

"I thought to myself he ought to taste more of this hell. And then... I understood." He took a step forward. "The only one who can lay waste to the titans... is a devil! If I can bring back the devil, that must be my mission in life! That has to be why I survived like a coward when everyone else died!"
You shot out an arm to keep Levi at bay, still holding tight to Mikasa.

"So stay out of his way!" He came charging at you two, Mikasa is particular. You spun her around and aimed your gun straight at his face. Just as you were about to pull a trigger, a body slammed into you and separated Mikasa. You turned, seeing Hanji holding her back.

"Hanji..." Levi said. Mikasa struggled, but Hanji forced her to sit on the slanted roof. Connie, Jean, and Sasha also arrived. She was unconscious and injured, though. You didn't see Moblit.

"Hey... you've got to be... kidding me..." Jean gasped, taking in everything he just walked into.

"No way..." Connie followed.

"You can't... be serious..." Hanji only realized what exactly was happening. Levi opened the serum box and pulled out the syringe. Mikasa, still entrapped in Hanji's arms, began to scream.

"Mikasa! You have to know how much we need Erwin! We cannot let the flames of hope extinguish inside the walls!"

"But... Armin could... do that, too!"
You sighed and sheathed your gun, a little tired of everything that's transpired.

"It's true, Armin is exceptional... but he doesn't have Erwin's experience and leadership!"

'It's impossible.' You thought, looking at both sides of the roof.

'It's impossible not to involve your feelings into this. Even though what Hanji is saying is right, it's no secret she wants to revive Erwin for personal feelings.' You closed your eyes and crossed your arms. In all honesty, you didn't care who got the serum. It doesn't matter to you. You just wished Levi would hurry it up and pick already. Speaking of which, Levi filled the syringe with the serum. Just as he was about to move to Erwin, Eren grabbed his ankle.

"Captain..." He said weakly, "Do you... know about... the sea?" It was almost pathetic, the begging. You don't remember if there was ever a time you begged someone to keep someone else alive. Maybe that was you being heartless. Maybe you didn't care.

"No matter how far you look, it stretches past the horizon. It's a gigantic lake. Armin said--"

"Hey! Cut it out!" Floch interrupted by grabbing his arm and yanking it away.

"There's a sea beyond the walls..."
Floch hauled Eren up and away from Levi.

"... and he said we'd go there together! But... that was our dream since we were little, and I forgot it long ago! Avenging my mom... killing the titans... the only thoughts in my head are full of hate!"

'That's probably the first thing he's said that made complete sense.' You thought. Hate changes people. You've seen it first hand. You've experienced it first hand.

"But... he's not like that! Armin cares about more than just fighting! He has dreams!"
You watched as Levi thought for a moment before he stood.

"Everyone get out of here! I'm going to have Erwin eat Bertholdt!"
As everyone dispersed, you glanced at Levi before hooking your wires into a nearby house and flying there. You watched from the rooftop and Levi walked along it for a few minutes. At this point, you didn't know who he would choose. You leaned towards Erwin, but that's solely based on feelings. You weren't going to show favoritism towards one. You found it irrelevant. You didn't have the serum. What right do you have to pick and choose who to save? You'll save that for Levi. As much as you love him, you don't want to fuck around with a choice like that.

A yellow light flashed through your eyes. Smoke, accompanied by embers, appeared through the air. A titan emerged, donning a yellow bob cut.

'So he chose Armin, huh?' You thought, seeing titan-Armin pick up the now conscious Bertholdt. The latter was screaming, first at titan-Armin, then at the others who watched, shocked, on another roof. He soon was eaten by Armin. In that time, Levi moved Erwin's body from the roof and onto one farther away. You maneuvered your way over there. Floch and Hanji was there, too.

"Why... did you...?" Floch asked. All three of them were kneeling next to Erwin's body. You were the only one standing.

"Do you think... you can forgive him?" Levi asked, "He had no choice but to become a devil. It was us who wished for that. And in the end, when he had finally been set free from hell, we wanted to bring him back once more. But I think... it's time to let him rest."
You weren't dumb. You know how bad of a blow this was to Levi. Despite being callous, and sometimes insubordinate, he trusted Erwin completely. With that thought in mind, you kneeled. Hanji crawled over Erwin's face.

"Erwin... I promised I'd kill the beast titan, but... it's going to have to wait."
Hanji lifted up his lids, revealing his eye. Both you and her knew instantly that he was dead.

"He's... dead."
Levi let out a small gasp from next to you.

"... I see..."
Automatically, your hand came up and cupped the back of his head. You could do better, but you weren't going to in the middle of a battlefield.

~
The entirety of the Survey Corps went back up on the wall after. All ten of you. Sasha and Armin were being treated for their injuries.
You walked up to Levi's side and gazed at his face. He wasn't looking at you.

"Do you consider this a win?" You asked, looking over the wall and the horizon. Levi didn't answer for a few seconds, and you contemplated whether he heard you or not.

"... no."

"Glad I'm not the only one, then." Slowly, you reached your hand to his and grabbed it gently. The both of you squeezed each other's impossibly tight. Neither of you cared. "... we have to keep moving forward, you know."

"Yeah, I know..."
You looked at Levi again. His eyes moved to meet yours. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. His eyes closed, and it was only then that you thought of how tired he was.

"When we get home, do you want me to make you tea?"
A little nod was all you got, but it was good enough.







Ja ne!

{Ruby Red}

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