Silver Currents of Change

Chapter 21

The next Saturday, Zarah said yes when Marcus asked her out for a movie date. It was a ritual they'd started a few years back, going to see Tyler Perry's new films together. After the movie, they were sitting in his car talking after he took her home. He confessed to her how much he wanted to pour his heart out to her the night after they finished the RACE, but said he couldn't find the nerve. Zarah felt like jumping out of the car and running to her apartment, but, instead, she started cringing inside because of the awkwardness of the moment. She didn't want to have to shoot him down again. But she might have no choice.

He looked around, and he sounded sincere and emotional as he said he wanted to tell her what was in his heart. How he couldn't get out of his mind the image of her that night, the way she looked when she was trying to look older. Her red suit and her glasses, her hair pinned up, and how her red lipstick accented her lips and her outfit. He had to tell her how it was all still haunting him. She made him think she thought he was joking, so he started acting like he was. But after they laughed, he told her he was serious, and that it wasn't fair to him or to them, for her to keep saying no to even the possibility of a romantic date, especially after all the years they'd been friends. After all they'd been through, together, as very close friends.

She had no choice but to tell him their friendship was exactly why she had to keep saying no. She didn't feel the same way about him. And then, mostly to change the subject, she confronted him. She asked him about rumors at work that said he was dating Jessica, the white female intern.

"Ah, yes," he said. "Jessica. Well. We started going out the weekend after the RACE. We just realized we liked each other. And we decided to go out on a date or two. That's all."

"Oh. See. Now I don't understand. I thought you only had eyes for me that night."

"So that's what you want, huh? You want me salivating over you ... somebody I can't have, but I should completely ignore girls who actually want a relationship with me."

"No, I don't want that. But,"

"Then why hold it against me? So I went out with Jessica, so what? Anyway, that's been over for weeks."

"Of all people. Marcus Patterson. Swirling. I just thought you were blacker. Never expected you to jump ship."

"You're impossible, Zarah. I thought you were working on changing. On judging white people by the content of their character. Isn't that what you told me? What if your boss had decided he couldn't risk his own life to save yours because you're black?"

"That's ridiculous."

"So is what you're saying now."

"It's not the same. Anyway, why did you keep it from me? Were you ashamed of yourself for dating Jessica?"

"Do you tell me everything that goes on in your life?"

"No."

"Well then."

"But this is big."

"Was big. I told you. It's over. She liked me and I liked her. We dated a little and that's it. She's a nice girl. We didn't have much in common, but we work together, and now we're friends. Maybe we'll always be friends. But that's all."

"Why? You've obviously gotten over that 'she's a white girl' thing."

"I can't believe you're actually holding that against me."

"I'm not ... it's just. I don't know how you could date her. For all you know, some of her relatives could be in the Klan. Did you ever think about that? I always do. Especially when I'm around white people from the South."