Only Summer Loves October - Ryden

Chapter Fourteen - Deterioration

I had never taken much pride in the way I look, my hair kind of does its own thing, my outfit choice is whatever I find that's clean or I'm told what to wear. I've never spent more than twenty dollars on a pair of shoes, but right now I find myself pacing my room in my underwear completely lost and feeling almost apprehensive. My bed is camouflaged by the piles of clothes I've tried on but didn't make the cut. Is a plain black T-shirt too plain? Is a floral shirt too flashy?

The door creeps open and I launch myself over the mountain of clothes to stop whoever's on the other side. "What do you want?"

"Dude, what's going on in there, have you got someone with you?" Spencer challenges.

"No I'm naked, what do you want?" I repeat.

"Can you tell Jon to stop eating the strawberry Pop Tarts? They're mine."

"Tell him yourself for fuck sake! I can't deal with your drama. Besides, I've been eating them too so I'm just as much to blame."

Spencer leaves a silence before quietly answering. "Well I guess you have no respect for my things either."

I'm not responding to that, if he's comparing me eating a couple of his Pop Tarts to the fact that Jon fucked a groupie in his bed the other day he can fuck off. They've avoided each other ever since, and if I decided I wanted to get in the middle of their dispute then I'd be upsetting the wrong person. How is Jon supposed to get any action when he's sleeping in the bunks? Sure, some of the fans would be up for it. Shit, some of them are up for anything, but I sure as hell wouldn't be fucking some chick with Eric keeping a watchful eye over me from the next bunk. Spencer is just taking it too personally because Layla hasn't come out to see him yet. Sophie and Emma coming tonight wont help matters but it's not my fault Layla found better ways to spend her time.

Great, now Spencer's got me thinking about Sophie and Emma coming and that's not my problem right now. I go for the plain black T-shirt, black skinny jeans and a leather jacket to shake things up a bit. Who the fuck am I kidding? I know nothing about this stuff.

I take one look at my shithole of a bedroom and then at my watch before leaving. At least Pete's organized a hotel for tonight, I can deal with this when we're back on the road. He said something about us having the top floor to ourselves, which is enough for a room each. Only problem being that when Brendon invited the girls he didn't take accommodation into account, or the fact Emma wouldn't share a room with him. Which means I'll probably end up with Brendon.

I almost sneak off of the bus unnoticed until Spencer catches up with me again. "I'm sorry man, my head's all over the place at the moment. This whole tour was so rushed and I'm still getting my head around Brendon being here, you know? For so many years it was just you, me and well... Jon, that worked for me." He looks at me apologetically which he knows makes me feel uncomfortable.

I grab his shoulder "I understand, but it's been tough for all of us man. Look at the reaction we've been getting at the shows. Let's face it, Brendon's voice is better than mine, it would've only been a matter of time until people got bored of it and then we would've been stuck trying to build a band from scratch again." I pull Spencer into a hug to wrap up the conversation and it works, especially with our handshake at the end. I keep thinking I need to spend more time with Spencer, and I will, just not now.

My body tenses as the harsh wind bites my skin, ugly grey clumps of snow have gathered on the ground and I feel as though I'm back in New York, not hundreds of miles away. The difference being that here it's easier to get a cab. I expect I could've found the bar on my own, but the risk of being seen while passing the venue was enough to put me off walking.