Absurdity

chapter one

Harry clutched his wand nervously and waited. His eyes went to Barty who he had discovered. He knew what was going to happen. He just needed to get to the cup before anyone else.

The gun was shot and Harry took his cue. He sprinted into the maze and then stopped. He summoned his broom and waited a moment for it to fly into his grasp. He flew above the obstacles and saw what was ahead of him. Harry landed infront of the cup and snatched it up, banishing his broom back to his room.

He glanced about his new surroundings. A grave yard.
Harry raised a brow as he saw a familiar man stumble from the foliage with a baby the colour of a bad bertie botts bean.
Harry watched amused as Wormtail fumbled about with his wand and the baby thing. Harry took his chance and hurried over to the rat man, Peter Pettigrew felt a wand in his back and let out a scream.
"Do shut up. Oh Merlin! Is that Voldemort!" Harry laughed a bit and nudged the Dark Lord's minion with his wand a bit.

"Harry Potter" the ugly baby let out a sigh of annoyance.

"Aww! His first words, take a photo Petey!"
"Wormtail!" The babymort growled and the rat man whimpered.

"Awe, he loves you too Peter! I bet he loves me more though!"

"Do the thing!" Voldemort hissed.

"I get the hint, I'll be over here until I am needed"

Wormtail kept up his appregensive glances at Harry, who made himself at home on a close enough rock.
When Wormtail reached the "blood of an enemy" bit Harry took over and spilled his blood into the cauldron.

"Blood of a partner, loyal and trustworthy"

He then backed off and let Wormtail finish.
The Voldetoddler was thrust into the cauldron by the one armed Wormtail and the two males watched as a new form was built and it grew rather oddly from the cauldron.
Voldemort was returned to his former glory, wavy brown hair in an almost victorian quiff and lean frame, caved with muscle. His red eyes glowed in the dark.

"You helped me?" The dark Lords voice was raw.

"I guess" Harry smirked.

"What do you want Potter?"

"Mostly, I want to join you, but at this exact moment I would really appreciate you putting some clothes on, I get that you should be proud of all... that, but atleast some trousers!?"

"Join me?" Voldemort made no effort to cover himslef "The light saviour wants to become a Death Eater!?"

"Yes, the light saviour also wishes for you to put some clothes on"

"And why would you want to become a Death Eater Potter?"

"Please trousers?"

"Not until you answer me"

Harry huffed and turned himself around. He could certainly out-child a 50 year old.
"I will not talk to you until you have covered yourself"

The Dark Lord laughed and Wormtail dropped a robe around him, pleading pathetically for his arm to be fixed.
"Why did you cut your whole arm off? Surely a finger would have sufficed" Harry laughed at his own joke.

"I don't get it" Tom sat on a rock next to Harry's rock.

"He cut off another one of his fingers when he framed Sirius for my parent's murder"

"Oh, my question from before then?"

Harry thought for a second and then replied:

"Its ever so boring Tommy and I would rather kill a thousand muggles then have Ron and Hermione be near me for ten more seconds"

"Those seem like bad reasons to betray the light Potter"

"Since when have you had a good reason to be evil?" Harry smirked.

"Touché. Im summoning my followers... here"
Tom thrust a gleaming golden mask at Harry who caught it awkwardly and placed it over his face.

Voldemort pulled a face as he turned back to the whimpering mess that was Wormtail.

"You are pathetic, give me your arm" 

The rat man sobbed out his thanks and held up the bleeding stump that was where his arm had been. 

"Other arm!" the Dark Lord sneered.

Wormtail cried more and presented his mark to Tom, who pressed his pale wand against the tattoo. The depicted snake about the skull and the rat man screamed in agony. 

Harry wouldn't have hidden his smirk if he had needed to, although his face was rubbing on the metal mask and his eyelashes bumped the eye hole's rims. People clad in black robes and silver masks appeared in a circle. Harry wondered why his mask was different, and then began to second guess his eye sight. Why would Voldemort give him a different mask? He decided it was probably for lower level members.

"Why does Malfoy bother wearing a mask?" Harry whispered to the Dark Lord as the older man passed.

The Lord giggled a bit, a rather scary noise to the quivering Death Eaters, who were all worrying about who the person in the golden mask was, nobody had ever worn a golden mask before. 

"Well, I must say I am rather disappointed" Voldemort tutted.

The circle of mask clad people shuddered. The young looking man paced around them, causing goosebumps to rise. Harry watched, amused, from the shadows. 

"This is my Commander, you will adress sir or Commander, he wears a golden mask at this moment but that will develop into something a bit more unique, any questions?"

"Who is he?" Malfoy tried not to let his sneer show in his words. "Surely if you were to pick a special Death Eater he would be one of us?"

"Ah, well, Commander?" Tom turned to Harry, red eyes gleaming with exitement.

Harry rolled his eyes, he knew this was a test.
"Crucio" he muttered and the sparking spell shot out of his wand and the Malfoy Lord writhed but stayed standing.

"Good answer!" Tom grinned.

Tom continued his rant about loyal followers not trying to find him and Harry picked imaginary dirt from his nails. Until, that is, he heard his name.

"And Harry Potter what are your plans for him!?"

"Oh... I dont think he will be causing us any more issues"