Love, Life and Living with Cancer

"Stacey Jacobs?" exclaimed one of the nurses. I raised my head. This procedure isn't new to me, I know it all to well.

"Yeh, I'm here. Dr Hope, room seven?" I reply, smiling. Mary knew very well who I was, and that I much prefered being called Stace. She smiled and nodded. As I stood up, my brown hair fell gentely across my face and shielding my eyes. As I pushed it off, my heart skipped a beat, not because I had seen something, but because my illness was getting worse, I could just feel it.

"Ah, Stacey, how are you today?" Dr Hope asked a caring smile on his old wrinkling face.

"Well, it's been alright, but I can just tell that this isn't going be good news."

"I am very sorry to have to tell you this, Stacey, but it would seen that your illness is not getting better. Infact, I am afraid it is the opposite, it is gradually become worse. I an just going to get straight to the point though, I know you to well to give you all the rubbish. The fact is, you need a new heart. You're current one is inefficient and unstable." My heart stopped then. Well not literally because I wouldn't be saying this now if that was true.

"Wh-what? But you said that was completely off the cards!" my mum shouted. She sounded angry, like a mother bear protecting a cub. "Are you saying she is worse than at first?"

I stayed silent. What did this mean? I had to change my heart? How long would that take? I couldn't understand. After several hours of repeating the same thing Dr Hope finally gave up. But I think I got most of it. Basically, they would take a load of tests on my blood and heart, and as soon as they found a sutible donor I would be prepared and be put under.

The first thing I dk when I leave the hospital is grab my phone and call Seth. It's been three weeks since we met and I guess now you could say we were dating. His malaria was gone which was good and we were really happy. Anyway, when I called him and told him the news he sounded mortified.

"He said you were getting worse? Oh my god, how do you feel hun?" He was being so sweet. I still can't believe how good he has been about my cancer. But I still didn't know how I felt, because in someways I was thinking: could this be a good thing?