Only a couple of people know about her addiction. The urges that rush through her veins nearly every night. That's the worst time of the day, the time where she is weak and unable to fight them. The time where she lets 'it' win. By 'it', it's herself. The side that no one sees. The depressive, angry side. She could just be sat there and it would eat away at her mind until she gave in. It'd call her things, make her do it. Make her fulfill her evil addiction.
Bitch. Weak. Controlling. Nasty. Fat. Ugly. Disappointment. Pathetic.
Faye watched the clock tick to eleven. She always watched TV with her family before she went to bed. Unlike others, she wasn't allowed to just sit in her room and do whatever because he parents preferred her to be downstairs. She stared at the screen, not paying attention. Just waiting. The urges were overpowering, she couldn't wait much longer.
As soon as it hit eleven, she rose from the chair and ran up the stairs. She could almost feel herself tingling with some sort of excitement. She pushed the door of her bedroom shut and sat on her bed. Now was the time she was waiting for all day. A little smile appeared on her face as she opened the draw next to her bed. In there was her best friend. A small pair of metal scissors. She picked them up with care and touched the point with her finger. The familiar feel of them in her hands made her feel calmer.
Faye propped up the pillows on the bed and allowed herself to relax. Knowing the scissors were right beside her made her happy. There were so many places she could cut. Cutting her wrists gave her the most excitement, let the most stress go. But she wanted to relieve it slowly. She lifted up the bottom of her pyjama shorts and took the point of the scissors. She pressed the point into her skin and slowly dragged it in a straight line. The first couple layers of skin were broken but no blood. She took another deep breath and winced and she started to move the point of the scissors back and forth with force. When her eyes opened, little bubbles of blood had appeared.
The deep red colour shone against the light. She stared at it and started to smile more. Her body shivered with happiness, already she began feeling better. She began cutting into her thigh, making it bleed more. It started to dribble down her thigh and onto the bed. This felt right to her, she needed more.
Next, she moved to her stomach and opened up the scissors. Each cut started to calm her more. Each time she reopened her eyes, there was more blood to see. As she stared at all the cuts on her stomach, she began to laugh. She giggled with sheer happiness.
None of them understand why she was addicted to causing herself pain. No one understood how addicting it was. It was Faye's drug and she couldn't stop. Her body had thin scars over it and she hated them through the day. She despised them, infact. But at night it was a different story. It was like a different part of her had taken over. She wanted more scars like that, she needed to see the blood. She need to feel the pain of the point piercing into her skin. Doing it made her happy but the happiness wore off the next morning. It was a temporary thing and she knew it was bad, she knew the risks but nothing could stop her. She felt crazy. Who could enjoy hurting themself? Who could enjoy seeing themself bleed?
She brought up her wrist and observed the various scars from different nights. She began to cut away, doing quick slices that wouldn't scar as bad. Then slow, deep ones that stung and would scar more. The blood trickled down and yet again she laughed.
[A/N] For anyone who read my old self harm story, I started a different one (obviously). I'll probably make it over a few short chapters and end it. I hope you like it... If anyone has problems related to this, I'd be happy to listen to you and try to help. So just pop up on chat or send me a PM. Thanks for reading. ~ Chloe <3
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An Evil Addiction
Teen FictionFaye has an addiction, it's like her very own drug. Except it's free and available whenever she needs it.