Ninja Love: Saizo Kirigakure

Chapter 4

Goodbyes had never been my strong suit. True, I hadn't had to encounter many in my small village where people tended to stay for their whole lives, but every once in a while, there would be an exception. Every so often, someone close to me would pass on or leave Kawachinokuni, and I remember having the hardest time with those cases.

Even as I made my way around the temple grounds in the barely-lightened early morning hours, I tried not to think about what my visits entailed. I had gotten up an hour early to say farewell to the people I had been around all my life, who were practically my family. The shrine maidens that shared my quarters, the stable hands and the horses, and some of the servants I had grown close to were the ones I visited first, in the dark of the early morning when no one could see me crying. I also gave passing goodbyes to the few secondary priests that happened to be wandering the halls this early. Just as the sun started to streak the skies with bright pinks and soft purples and brilliant oranges, occasional tears streaked my face against my best efforts. I exited the temple-no, my home, for what could have been the very last time. Accompanied by Ochi, I visited all my favorite places on the temple grounds, trying to press every last detail of my home into my brain. It was all too emotional, and more than once I romanticized the idea of backing out and staying in Kawachinokuni.

I may have many shortcomings, but I am a woman of my word. That, paired with Ochi and my grandfather's encouraging words, was the driving force behind my decision to follow through. We met Grandfather and Saizo at the main gate, where I parted with Ochi when we had said our words and my dear mentor went back to the temple.

Sometimes, there is a grief so great that it warrants only silence. This is the worst kind of grief because there are no kind words, no crying it out, and no sympathies to lessen the pain. There is only you, stewing in your sorrows for as long as the grief wants to stay around. This was the grief I felt when I realized that that moment could possibly be the last time I ever saw my grandfather on this earth. For a moment, I had nothing to say. There was nothing I could say. There was only the soft sound of birdsong and the breeze rustling through the trees.

I cried.

Quite shamelessly, I might add. Not violent sobs or even hiccuping sniffles, but silent, consuming, constant rivers that tasted of salt and heartache. I held onto Grandfather for as long as I could, memorizing his weathered features in the soft morning light.

Finally, Grandfather held me out in front of him, both his hands on my shoulders. His clear eyes glistened with tears, but they studied me with the intense scrutiny that I had come to be familiar with over the years.

"Misaki, you will make us all proud. May the goddess be with you for the rest of your life, and beyond. My love, and the love of everyone in Kawachinokuni, goes with you," his voice, although faded through the years, was clear and strong.

I nodded, steadying myself, "I love you too. I'll see you again someday."

Saizo wordlessly handed my my pack, and we turned away from the only life I had ever known.

○○○

Walking through Kawachinokuni and seeing all the people I had known since childhood come out to say goodbye to me was almost as hard as parting with my friends at the temple, but I put on a brave face and waved back with a smile.

We reached the end of Kawachinokuni and followed a narrow dirt path that led through a lush swath of forest, which served as a separating barrier between the next town and the quiet retreat of Kawachinokuni.It wasn't a terribly long walk, but crossing the tree line and coming into town was a bit of a shock for me. I had never been outside of Kawachinokuni before, so I was eager to take in the sights and sounds of what I considered a "big city."