Decaying Hearts

Chapter 18

   We headed off in the dead of night, hidden by the shadows and disguised by the darkness. It was a dangerous time really, to head out on a possible suicide mission. The dead were more active at night, with the sounds of crickets and faulty electrics in street lamps, the undetected sounds drove them crazy; taunted by food they couldn’t find.
   I had said my goodbyes to Rosie. I told her everything; how we were to infiltrate the enemy camp, save my wife and to find somewhere safe. Once I returned, I doubted Tony would be forgiving and far from happy enough to let me stay.  I’d be back for Isabelle and then we’d hit the road, in search of another haven. I asked Rosie to come with us, but I knew she couldn’t. Maria was a doctor; she would need one for the baby.
   I would miss Rosie. Her sweet nature that contrasted vastly against her fiery red hair. There could never be a malicious cell in her boy. She was beautiful, funny and just the most wonderful person I had met since the outbreak. The man that’s spends the rest of his life with her would be a lucky man indeed.
   As I turned away from her, tears has rolled down her rosy cheeks, the whites of her eyes became violently red and her soft lips trembled. She reached for me and I let her hand rest on my arm. She forced me to face her as a tear rolled down my own face. Why had I been crying?
    Her gentle hand rubbed the over-grown stubble across my jaw. Her other hand reached behind my neck and toyed with the hair dampened by sweat. She pulled me to her and her lips suddenly pressed against mine. It was like pure electric tantalising every cell and nerve in my body, lighting every fibre of my being like fireworks. Once she kissed me, I never wanted it to stop. My stomach leaped uncontrollably and I felt my body quiver. Pictures of Rosie swirled endlessly through my mind.
    She eventually, reluctantly pulled away. Rosie’s soft hands lingered against my cheek and I felt ice beneath her fingertips. How was she doing this to me? Why was she doing this to me? And why now? I was about to go charging into darkness with the single goal of saving my wife, whilst kissing another woman, whilst thinking of another woman. Thinking of Rosie and her pale skin against mine.
    Stop. Pull yourself together, Josh. One problem at a time.
    She whispered in my ear, “stay safe” and slowly walked away into her room, looking back only once. I couldn’t help but feel I was making a big mistake.
    But I was in too deep, this wasn’t just my battle now. It was Robert’s and for some unknown reason it was Lenny’s too. I had committed myself to the cause, a heroic and murderous mission. I had walked away from Rosie, slowly and regretfully, but nevertheless I walked.
    We would all be armed with the usual; whatever we could find, only this time Robert had snuck into the classroom Tony had decided to keep as an armoury. Jake was on duty to make sure nobody could take anything without permission and what a fine job he did. Robert had tip toed passed and left with 3 pistols, a few smoke bombs, a handful or flash bangs and a couple rounds of ammo.
    “Where did you guys get all this from?!” I had asked.
    “When we first set up the school, Howard and Tony ransacked the old police station.” Robert shrugged.
    We decided we would travel on foot into the nearest town. The sound of a car would give us away straight away and the engine noise would have just attract the teeth. We just had to get past the two guys on duty… without being seen.
    We silently stalked through the yard, taking a longer but more covered escape route through the vegetable garden. If we were lucky, Jake and Howard will be checking the grounds around front. If it turned out we weren’t so lucky, we’d be screwed. Using the cover of darkness we searched for the emergency gate they had been built around the back in case the group got over run or attacked. The overwhelming darkness combined with the sinister shadows that lurked, it was almost impossible to find the lock.
   “Shine your torch o’er here.” Lenny mumbled.
   “But they might see us.” Robert spat through a whisper.
   “The longer we just stand here, the sooner they’re gonna notice we’re gone!” He retorted.
    With a huff, Robert flicked the switch and the torch illuminated the space. He span his head round frantically, I could tell the nerves were starting to get to him. I just hope he can keep it together, for all our sakes.
    In just seconds, Lenny had picked the lock and the gate was open. Putting away the torch we clambered carelessly through the fence causing the metal to clink loudly.
    “FREEZE!” Suddenly there was a beam of light! A single beam mocking that of a spotlight, revealing us to our hidden man.
    “What are you idiots doing?” Said a familiar voice.
    “Nothin’ Jake, bugger off.” Lenny started.
    “You’re gonna get us all killed! You’ll lead the dead straight here!” He whispered aggressively.
    “And so will you, if you keep waving that damn light about!” I intervened.
    “I ought’a have known you was the one behind all of this. You’ve caused nothing but trouble since you got here. First on your little suicide raid that nearly killed my sister! Now you’ve convinced this idiot to sneak out.” Jake went on, his tone high and mighty.
    “We all have our reasons, Jake.” Robert explained softly yet directly.
    “You too, Robert? I thought you might have learned after what happened to Nancy.” Jake spat.
     Robert seemed to growl as he tried to force himself past me and back through the gate. His arms out stretched like the teeth with a set target. His body clashed into the metal sending a silence killing chain of clinks into the air. There and then, he would have killed Jake had it not been for Lenny holding him back.
    “C’mon Rob, think about what we’re doing here. We ain’t got no time for this. If you still want to kill him when we get back, I’ll help ya.” Lenny said soothingly, adding a smile. Crazy bastard.
    “What are you doing?” Jake asked, his face perplexed, his mind clearly unable to fathom why 3 men would sneak out of protected grounds and into a hell forsaken world.
    “Ain’t got nothing to do with no yellow belly kids.” Lenny retorted.
    “Sneaking to Dim’s camp to save my wife and then hill the bastard for what he did to Nancy.” I shrugged simply.
     “Man, Josh. Why you have to go tell the kid that for? Now, little kiss arse here’s gonna go running back to Tony and fill him in.” Lenny huffed.
     “He’s gonna tell on us anyway. Now he’s got something to tell.” I said simply.
     I looked at Jake and I see him staring back at me with his sceptical eyes searching. His eyes, blue and harsh contrasting with his sister’s baby blue ones. In the dark they looked like a shade of midnight indigo as he glared, calculating my next move, analysing my motives.
   For a moment I saw his eyes soften, the hard lines across his forehead relaxed slightly and a small sigh escaped him. This was over in months, but I saw it. I saw compassion.
    “I want to help.” Said Jake, his voice no longer hard but stern and determined.
    “Why?” I said.
    “We all have our reasons.” He mimicked, his voice was low and full of hidden emotions. “It mat shock you, but I was married to, before this shit went down.”
    “You were married? You’re like 18.” Lenny pried sarcastically.
    “I’m 23. Her name was Holly, she was my girlfriend from when we were both 15, left school and got married t 19. We were happy.
   One day, before the outbreak was official –It was still just the odd case when it happened, I woke up to the sound of moans. I thought it had finally happened. I thought the teeth were outside the house just looking for a way in, but no, it was worse. I turned to wake Holly so we could run and find somewhere safe, but it was her. She had turned just like that. No bite, no scratch, no nothing. She just turned.
    Her skin had gone pale and the whites of her eyes were red as the blood that runs through our veins. She opened her eyes, but they weren’t hers. It was a monster inside of her body. She turned wild as her jaw started clamping together and pinned me to the bed.
    She was suddenly so strong. She had always be soft, she couldn’t even hurt a fly, but there she was, trying to kill me. I reached for the pistol I had started keeping in the draw of my dresser just in case the worst was to happen. Only this was much worse than I had imagined.
     I had to. I just had to do it. She would have wanted me to. I aimed the gun at her heart and pulled the delicate trigger. It only stunned her for a few seconds before she was there again. This time I placed it against her forehead and she was down. She was dead and I was covered in her blood. Her naked body collapsed against me and I tried, I tried to do it. I wanted to die with her, I wanted to be with her, but I was too weak” Jake was almost sobbing. “You know the worst part of it was? I didn’t just lose my wife. I lost our unborn child too. Holly was six months pregnant and I had killed them both!”
    “I’m so sorry, Jake.” I said sombrely, so quietly I wasn’t sure my words actually left my lips. I understood him now. I knew why he was the way he was, why he was so bitter and scared. He had lost everybody and everything except his sister. That’s why he was so angry with me, why he had hated me for risking her life on a raid. He was lonely, but too scare to be closed with anybody, to let anybody in. He didn’t want to feel that emotion again, to feel the grief of losing some again.
     “You’re not the only one who has been through shit. You walk around here like you’re the only one that knows what it’s like out there, you’re not. I don’t know what happened to you out there, that’s your business. You are not the only one. You were on your own? Well, guess what? So am!” Jake cried.
     “I’m sorry.” I said, bowing my head in shame. I had never meant to come across that way. “But you’re not alone, Jake. Like you said, we’ve all been through shit! We may not have known each other before, but we know each other now. We can be like a family. Hell, it’ll be the weirdest and most dysfunction family to date…” Everyone huffed some sort of laugh. “But we’ll take care of each other. What do you say, Jake? Can we be friends?”
      I held my breath and my hand out to him. He stared at me in return. His eyes looked bewildered beneath months of unshed tears and his mouth fell slightly parted. I had offered my hand to him before and had turned away. This time was different. Although he was hesitant, he reached for my hand and squeezed it firmly. In that one handshake a feud had been resolved and friendship newly formed.
     “Okay, Jake. You still want to help us?”
     He nodded once and waited for instruction.